Elevator Jokes / Recent Jokes

Here`s a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows:

ONE POINT

Run one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

When they`re not looking, pour most of someone`s fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew.

Ignore the first five people who say `good morning` to you.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can`t talk right now. Bye."

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

THREE-POINTS

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don`t want to have to repeat it." - Double points if you more...

Here's a way to spice up your office. Pick two or three colleagues and agree to play the Office Game which awards points as follows: ONE POINTRun one lap around the office at top speed. Walk sideways to the photocopier. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk. When they're not looking, pour most of someone's fresh cup of coffee into your mug leaving them with an inch of brew. Ignore the first five people who say' good morning' to you. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. THREE-POINTSBabble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it." - Double points if you do this to a manager. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle. Shout random more...

A little boy and his mother are in an elevator when a man and a woman enter, arguing.
The little boy attempts to tell the woman something, but she ignores him and continues arguing.
Suddenly, the woman jumps up, gasps and slaps the man's face, just as the little boy and his mother are getting out of the elevator.
The boy says to his mother, "Mom, am I going to be in trouble?"
"Why?" asks the mother.
"Well," the boy explains, "that lady was standing on my foot, so I pinched her bottom to get her off!"

dont u hate it when you are in an elevator and you are already scared of heights and the guy next to you says "i hope i fixed it this time".

A businessman got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by reciting the letters,
"T-G-I-F."
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked at him, puzzled, and said "T-G-I-F" again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said, as sweetly as possible, "T-G-I-F" another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."
The blonde finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"
The man answered, "S-H-I-T: Sorry Honey, It's Thursday."
More Blonde Q & A
Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen?
That's the proper place to wash vegetables.
What is a Blondes favorite nursary rhyme?
Hump me more...

Q: You are stuck in an elevator with a tiger, a lion and a lawyer. You have a gun with just two bullets in it. What do you do? A: Shoot the lawyer twice to make sure he's dead.

One day while walking down the street a highly successful partner in a law firm was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.

“Welcome to Heaven, ” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an law firm partner make it this far and we’re not really sure what to do with you. ”

“No problem, just let me in, ” said the woman.

“Well, I’d like to, but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in. ”

“Actually, I think I’ve made up my mind…I prefer to stay in Heaven”, replied the woman.

“Sorry, we have rules…” And with that St. Peter put the law partner in an elevator and which slowly descended to the depths of more...