Epstein Jokes

An elderly Jewish man is struck by a car and brought to the local hospital.A pretty nurse tucks him into bed and says, "Mr. Epstein, are you comfortable?"

Epstein replies, "I make a nice living."

THE Archangel Gabriel went to God,' There's a man to see you.'
'Who is he?'
'He says his name's Epstein - claims to represent the Jewish people on earth.'
'All right, show him in.'
Epstein shuffled through the Pearly Gates.' Lord, the Jews are wondering if you could answer one question?'
'Certainly. Go on.'
'Is it true that we are your Chosen People?'
'Yes.'
'We are definitely your Chosen People?'
'Yes.'
'Well, Lord, the Jews are wondering if you could choose somebody else for a change.'

It was during the cold war. The fate of the Western world hung in the balance. A secret agent had to find a spy named Epstein in New York and give him a secret code.
So, the agent entered the lobby of the apartment building on the lower east side of Manhattan where he lived and browsed the directory. He noticed there were 2 Epsteins listed; one on the 1st floor, the other on the 2nd.
He knocks on the door of the Epstein on the first floor. When Epstein opens the door, the agent tells him, "The sky above, the mud below".
Mr. Epstein replies, "Oh! You want Epstein the spy. Second floor".