Escort Jokes

Stalin is giving a speech in a small auditorium. During a pause, someone
in the audience sneezes. Looking up, Stalin asks,
"Who sneezed?"
Noone answers. Stalin orders the guards to escort the last three rows of
people outside, where they are executed. Stalin then asks,
"Now, who sneezed?"
Again, noone answers. Again, Stalin orders the guards to escort the last
three rows outside. Shots are heard. Again, Stalin asks,
"Now! Who sneezed??"
A small, bespectacled man in the second row raises his hand and says,
"Um, I did, comrade."
To which Stalin replies,
"Bless you."
... and then continues his speech.

An important senator arranges to use an escort service (high-class prostitution)
and winds up with this beautiful Japanese girl who speaks little English, but hey,
he wasn't in the mood for conversation anyway. So they get at it, and she gets
into it like no woman he's ever seen! She starts yelling this Japanese word and
making faces and he can tell he's driving her crazy! He's never had it so good. So
the next morning, he's golfing with the Japanese ambassador, and he makes a
birdie. He suddenly remembers the word that the woman yelled at what must
have been the moment of climax the night before, and he yells it out. The
ambassador looks at him rather oddly, looks at the pin, and says, "no, that was
the right hole..."

Ford Escort Me To A Chevrolet Dealer.

An F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The message for the B-52 crew was, "Anything you can do, I can do better."Not to be outdone, the bomber pilot announced that he would rise to the challenge. The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level, however. Perplexed, the fighter pilot asked, "So? What did you do?" "We just shut down two engines."

A middle-aged man marries a younger woman but discovers that no matter what he does in bed, she won't orgasm. So he takes the problem to his doctor who explains that maybe fantasy is the answer.
So the man hires a young, charming male escort and has him stand naked and waving a towel over the couple whilst they are having sex, to still no avail.
The man goes back to his doctor who suggests trying the scene oppositely, with the escort having sex with the woman whilst the man waves the towel.
Now becoming desperate, the man gets the same escort and tries the doctor's method. Soon the woman bursts into a great orgasm and the man throws down the towel, taps the escort on the shoulder and shouts triumphantly, "See, that's how you wave a bloody towel!"