Etc Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two priests were going to Hawaii on vacation and decided that they would make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy.
As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts and shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.
The next morning, they went to the beach, dressed in their "tourist" garb and were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery.
Presently, a "drop dead gorgeous" blonde in a tiny bikini came walking straight toward them. They couldn't help but stare.
As she passed them she turned, smiled, and said: "Good morning father, good morning father." Nodding and addressing each of them individually.
They were both stunned; how in the world were they recognized as priests?
They went back to the store, bought even more outrageous outfits and again they settled on the beach in their chairs more...
NATIONAL FLOWER: Bunga Raya (Hibiscus). NATIONAL CAR: Proton. 2nd NATIONAL CAR: Perodua Kancil. 3rd NATIONAL CAR: Perodua Tikus it's suppose to be half the size of the Kancil, but somehow Malaysian drivers will still be able to squeeze in 6 or 7 passengers. NATIONAL BEHAVIOR AT CAR SHOWROOMS: First walk towards the car you are interested in. Then walk around the car in circles, tapping and knocking every part of the chassis with your knuckles. Then say something like "Body not very solid..." After that approach the front left tire, give it a few hard kicks to "test" the tire. Next walk to the rear right side and press the body of the car down a few times, while exclaiming "wah, asorbar not bad". Now you are ready for a "test drive" Get into the car and give the steering wheel a few turns. Flash the lights, sound the horn, recline the seats, open up every compartment etc. Do all these tests while you're pretending to read the more...
Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about what? s been going on since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally asked "How is she in bed?" First guy replies "She? s fantastic, she sucks like a real man!"
A man was invited for dinner at a friend''s house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc.
His friend looked at him and said, "That''s really nice after all of these years you''ve been married to keep saying those little pet names."
The host said, "Well, honestly, I''ve forgotten her name.
A long time ago in a country far, far away...
Noah built his ark according to the instructions received, loaded it up with every animal under the sun, in pairs, and set off.
And it rained.
And it rained some more.
etc
etc
So, having sailed about for a couple of weeks, Noah has a problem. All these animals eat. And when they eat they prodeuce:
SHIT
Lots of shit.
More shit in one area than has ever been seen.
And every kind of shit.
Noah is in a quandry. So he gets all his sons together and tells them to collect all the shit they can and get it up on deck. Noah digs in too and they set about offloading a half a zillion tonnes of turd overboard.
And that would be the very unamusing end to our story if it were not for the actions of a chap we shall call Chris.
Who set sail, and in the year 1492 discovered it.