Exam Jokes / Recent Jokes

SMARTASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.
"Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
"What are my choices?" John asked.
"Yes or no," she replied.

SMARTASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your
stub."

SMARTASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she
couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

SMARTASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for
speeding rolled more...

A man went into the proctologist's office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat in the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes.
Well, when the man sat down in the examination room, he noticed that there were three items on a stand next to the doctor's desk: a tube of vaseline, a rubber glove, and a beer.
When the doctor came in, the man said, "Look Doc, this is my first exam... I know what the vaseline is for... and I know what the glove is for... but what's the BEER for?" At this instant, the doctor became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door.
The doc flung the door open and yelled to his nurse, "Come on, nurse!!!... I said a BUTT LIGHT!"

College by Dave Barry Many of you young persons out there are seriously thinking about going to college. (That is, of course, a lie. The only things you young persons think seriously about are loud music and sex. Trust me: these are closely related to college.) College is basically a bunch of rooms where you sit for roughly two thousand hours and try to memorize things. The two thousand hours are spread out over four years; you spend the rest of the time sleeping and trying to get dates. Basically, you learn two kinds of things in college: * Things you will need to know in later life (two hours). These include how to make collect telephone calls and get beer and crepe-paper stains out of your pajamas. * Things you will not need to know in later life (1,998 hours). These are the things you learn in classes whose names end in -ology, - - -osophy, -istry, -ics, and so on. The idea is, you memorize these things, then write them down in little exam books, then forget them. If you fail to more...

(True story)

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.

On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.

After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."

The student received an "A" on the exam.

Eye Exam
A guy goes to his eye doctor for an examination. They start talking as the doctor is examing his eyes. In the middle of their conversation, the doctor casually says, "You need to stop masturbating."
The guy replies, "Why Doc? Am I going blind?"
The doctor says, "No, but you're upsetting the other patients in the waiting room."

· What`s black and white all over and difficult?
An exam paper! · What kinds of tests do they give witches?
Hex-aminations! · Father: How were the exam questions?
Son: Easy
Father: Then why look so unhappy?
Son: The questions didn`t give me any trouble, just the answers! · Father: You were absent on the day of the test?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.
The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."
Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.
Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.
His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"