Exotic Jokes

A young French city slicker decides to have some exotic experience and enlists himself in the Foreign Legion. Two months later he's sent to the most remote fort in the middle of the Sahara.
The first month is fun, with all the training. Of course, now he's concerned about the lack of women around the fort... He decides to ask one of the local how they manage with it.
"Hey, Mustapha! Stop shining your boots and tell me how you can get a good fuck around here."
"No problem to fuck... just use the camel!"
"What!! Maybe that's good for you but I need a real woman, you pile of shit..."
"Maybe you're upset but no other way to get a fuck around here..."
Of course the guy turns around and ends up waiting one more month before he gets to the point where he could fuck anything. He goes back to Mustapha, still shining his boots.
"OK, Mustapha, how do you REALLY get a fuck around here?" "
I told you... more...

Washington DC - An Indiana woman has won agreement from the US Tax Court that her breasts are business assets and can be depreciated for tax purposes.
Cynthia S. Hess, known as "Chesty Love" in her professional life as an exotic dancer, claimed a $2,088 deduction in 1988 for depreciation on the surgical implants that enlarged her bust size to a 56FF.
The IRS turned down the deduction, citing a long list of court decisions holding that expenditures to enhance a taxpayer's health or appearance - while useful for business - are so inherently personal that they can't be deducted as a business expense.
But Hess found an ally in Special Trail Judge Joan Seitz Pate, who ruled that the implants increased Hess' income and that the the breasts are so large and cumbersome - they weigh about 10 pounds each - that she couldn't derive personal benefit from them.
From the Daily Collegian

Extracted from US news papers:
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As part of an ongoing feud in Fairfield, Iowa, Ronald Warren Switzer, 39, flew a small plane over the
home of Mike Parsons in July and fired several rifle shots - perhaps the first fly-by shooting in the
U. S.
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According to Saundra Lewis, a clerk at a Durham, N. C., convenience store that was held up in
February, the robber kept apologizing. He said he was sorry when he began the holdup, then again when
he rejected her plea to think it over, then again just as he fled. A few seconds after leaving, he
returned and said, "I'm sorry - really, I'm sorry," but nevertheless kept the money. In contrast, the
robber of a tobacco shop in Mesa, Ariz., in March not only returned the next night to rob the clerk
again, but chastised her for having been rude to him the night before.
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In a San Francisco Chronicle story in more...

ARIES WOMEN: Wildly sensual, passionate and adventurous. You'll have sex anywhere, you know what you want - intense and frequent sex, you have a need for complete control, but you're also in love with love. As a mate, you are ardent, loyal, sentimental, and earthly. Biggest thrill - the tickle of a man's facial fuzz.

ARIES MEN: Sleeping with him is like playing croquet with live bombs - you never know what is going to happen! Never expect him to wait for you to be ready - he will rip your clothes off if he is ready to go. Don't tease him or you'd better be ready to deliver. Fond of slave master games and he likes it rough. Aries men are also explorers, so be ready to go where no woman has gone before. His favourite position: a woman on her knees leaning forward.

TAURUS WOMEN: You expect your man to be kind and patient and make love to you by the book. Like to be pleased by sex, but don't look for unusual approaches. But you are a demanding lover and leave your more...