Eyed Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you hear about the cross eyed circumsiser.
He got the sack.

A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were noill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."

The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and said to the first one, "So how do you plead?" "Not guilty" said the second defendant. "I wasn't talking to you" the judge replied. "I never said a word" the third defendant replied.

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by terrible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.
After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."
Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a more...

The bartender says to Mulligan, "No more gin for you, me boy, you're
plastered." So Mulligan says to the bartender: "Plashtered, me? Why, I
can see that one eyed cat coming into the pub way over there!"
The barman says to Mulligan, "One eyed cat? That cat's not one eyed,
and it's not coming into the pub, it's leaving!

You mommas So Cross Eyed When She Cries Tears Roll Down Her Back.

The cross eyed judge looked at the three defendants in the dock and he said to the first one, "so how do you plead?",
"Not guilty" said the second defendant.
"I wasn't talking to you" the judge replied.
"I never said a word" the third defendant replied.