Factory Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.

After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, "I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!"

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in.

141. Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.


142. Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at BYU?
A: Too many blondes were drowning.


143. Q: Why do blonds have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.


144. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1:
10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three... one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.


145. Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.


146. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.


147. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.


148. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets more...

A parts manager for a small electronics shop, had occasion to order part No. 669 from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent part No. 699 instead.
Furious at the factory's incompetence, he promptly sent the part back along with a letter giving them a piece of his mind.
Less than a week later, he received the same part back with a letter containing just four words: "TURN THE PART OVER."

The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there to keep the man from touching the equipment.

For several weeks," the distraught factory worker confided to his psychiatrist, "I was obsessed with the idea of putting my organ in the pickle slicer. The thought kept me awake nights. When I finally fell asleep, I would dream about it. I couldn't work effectively. All I could do was stare at the pickle slicer and daydream. Finally, I couldn't con-trol my passion. During lunch hour yesterday, I stayed in the factory and fulfilled my desire."
"My God!" gasped the psychiatrist. "What happened?"
"The foreman came back from lunch early," said the worker, "saw what was going on and fired me on the spot."
"What happened to the pickle slicer?"
"Of course," the worker responded, "she was fired, too."

An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building.
"Your workers, they're escaping!" cries the visitor. "You've got to stop them."
"Don't worry, they'll be back," says the American. And indeed, at exactly one o'clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return from their break.
When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his guest and says, "Well, now, which of these machines would you like to order?"
"Forget the machines," says the visitor. "How much do you want for that whistle?"