Famous Jokes / Recent Jokes

A Mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted a famous heart surgeon in his shop who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his car.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hello Doctor!
Please come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind' em, put in new parts, and when I finish this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when you and me is doing basically the same work?"
The doctor leaned over and whispered to the mechanic "Try to do it when the engine is running."

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper:' Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?'' Yes,' the professor ansvered.' When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not se it so, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now.'' Well,' said the gatekeeper.' That is a very minor sin. You may enter.'' Thank you very much, Saint Peter,' the professor ansvered.' Im am not Saint Peter,' said the gatekeeper.' He is having his lunchbreak. I am Saint Lucas.'

There was a world famous painter who, in the prime of her career, started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world. After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored.
The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office. Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art: the doctor's office.
During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor,' What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall?'
To this, the eye doctor responded, "I said to myself' Thank the Lord, I'm not a gynecologist.'"

A young drummer girl was walking along the street when she heard.. "Psst! Down here!"
She looked down and saw a frog sitting by the curb. The frog says to her, "Hey, if you kiss me I'll turn into a world famous drummer and make you rich and famous!" She thought for a moment and reached down, grabbed the frog and stuffed it in her pocket.
A woman standing nearby witnessing the whole event said, "What did you do that for?"
The girl replied, "I'm not stupid. I know a talking frog is worth heaps more than a famous drummer any day!"

Which rabbit was a famous female aviator? Amelia Harehart.

Top reasons why it's great to be French

Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time

You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs

If there's a war you can surrender really early

You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.

You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries

You can be ugly and still become a famous film star

Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride

People think you're a great lover even when you're not

"Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."