Farmers Jokes / Recent Jokes

Once there were two farmers; one had a daughter and the other had a son. When their kids were teenagers they started dating, and the two farmers encouraged it. One day the girl's father went over to the other farmer's house and said that he didn't want their children dating any more. The boy's father asked, "Why not?"
The other farmer said, "Come here and I'll show you." In his yard was the girl's name written in pee in the snow.
The boy's father said, "Oh, come on, that's just boy stuff."
The other farmer said, "You think I don't know my own daughter's handwriting?"

Ya mean like this?

Four farmers were seated at the bar in a tavern. At the table next to them sat a young girl. The first man said, "I think it's WOOMB."

The second replied, "No, it must be WOOOOMBH."

The third said, "You both have it wrong -- it's WOOM."

The fourth stated, "No, it has to be WOOMMMMBBB."

At this, the young lady could stand it no longer. She got up, walked over to the farmers and said, "Look. It's WOMB. That's it, that's all there is to it." Then she left.

Eventually, one of the farmers broke the silence by saying, "Well. I don't know. A young girl like that. I don't see how she could know. I'll bet she's never even heard an elephant fart!"

Q: What do you call a basement full of farmers?
A: A whine-cellar

State of Kentucky 12th Grade Reading Test TEST #1 TEST #2 TEST #3 TEST #4 MR Ducks MR Snakes MR Farmers MR Mice MR Knot MR Knot MR Knot MR Knot SAR SAR SAR SAR CM Wangs CM BDI's CMMT Pockets CMEDBD Feet LIB LIB LIB LIB MR Ducks MR Snakes MR Farmers MR Mice

Three men where traveling backcountry roads when their car broke down. They walked to a farmhouse and asked the old man for help. He told them they could stay the night and he would drive them to the town the next day. He warned them that his daughter meant the world to him, and he would kill them if he found out they screwed around with her. So all three mean agreed that they would not mess with his daughter. Later on that night one of the three friends was wondering around the house and he came upon the room of the farmers daughter. She was the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen! She looked at him with an innocent smile and motioned him in. He thought to himself that old man will never know, and he went into the room. The second of the three friends was wondering around the house and he came upon the room of farmers daughter. She smiled at him with that innocent grin and motioned him in. He thought to himself that old man will never know, and he went into the room. The third more...

A famer got up for breakfast, his wife was bent over at the kitchen table. The farmer said to his wife, "Honey, your but is bigger than a four row corn picker."
The wife does not say anything. The farmer gets up after finishing his breakfast and heads out for the morning chores. Upon coming in for lunch his wife is bent over picking up something on the floor. The farmer says to his wife, "Ya know honey, I thought about it all morning and your butt is so big it is bigger than a 6 row corn picker."
Once again, the farmers wife says nothing. The farmer leaves the lunch table to do his afternoon chores. At dinner he comes in and his wife is bent over at the kitchen sink doing dishes. The farmer says to his wife, "Honey I thought about it all afternoon. Your butt is so big it is bigger than an 8 row corn picker."
Again, the wife says nothing. They have a nice dinner and she picks up the dishes and cleans the kitchen up. The farmer is in the more...

* FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
* PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you a glass of milk.
* BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: Your cows are cared for by former chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs the rules say you should need.
* FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
* PURE COMMUNISM: You share two cows with your neighbors. You and your neighbors bicker about who has the most "ability" and who has the most "need." Meanwhile, no one works, no one gets any milk, and the cows drop dead of starvation.
* RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You take care of them but the government takes all the milk. You more...