Fast Jokes / Recent Jokes

A traffic policeman signalled a speeding car driven by morron to stop. he asked banta'why were you driving so fast? You were going well beyond the allowed speed limit.' replied banta:' my brakes had failed. I wanted to get home as fast as i could before i had an accident.'

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.The first one says:"Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow". The second one says:"Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet". The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says:"You two know nothing about fast. My father is a civil servant. He stops working at 4:30 and he is home by 3:45!!"

There was once a Japanese businessman who was engaged in a particular corporate meeting held in a particular business district in the Philipines.
As he stepped out of the aiport, he hailed the local cab, board it and requested his destination to be Manila Hotel. As the cab was attempting to make its way out to the main road, a ramming and screeching sound was heard.
Out passed a Honda Civic CRX Turbo screaming away from the main junction. The Japanese remarked. "Mmmm, Honda! Made in Japan, verri powerful. Verri faast!!"
Some distance, a white executive sedan whoosh pass along side the cab a high cruising speed. "Ahhh, Toyota! Also made in Japan, verri fasto. Also verri good! Very faast"
The cab-driver upon hearing the comments, look thru the rear mirror and was quite resented over the Jap's proud attitude. At that moment again, another car came ramming fast, overtaking and cutting every car ahead of it.
"Mmmm, Mitsubishi! Also Japan, more...

Why do hurricanes travel so fast? Because if they travelled slowly, we'd have to call them slow-i-canes.

"Well ya see, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

A man walks into a bar and orders three double shots of 12 year old scotch. As soon as the bartender hands them to the man he begins drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender thinks that this is unusual and says, " your supposed to sip those, is there any reason why you are drinking them so fast?"
"Well today's the day of my first blowjob", the man says.
"Well let me get you one on the house then", the bartender says.
The man says, " no thanks if three won't kill the taste nothing will."

A Japanese tourist arrived in New Delhi. While travelling in a taxi, he happened to observe that everything in India moved at a slower pace compared to his own country. Unable to contain himself, he said to the taxi-driver, "Your taxis are too slow, Japanese taxis go very fast. Look at your buses, they ply at a snail's pace. In Japan, buses run like hell. Look at the speed of your motorcycles. Japanese motorcycles seem to talk to the air."
At the end of the journey, the taxi fare amounted to Rs. 100.
"What!" exclaimed the furious Japanese "your taxi-metre runs too fast."
"Yes, why not?" spewed the taxi-driver. "It's after all made in Japan, Sir!"