Fast Jokes / Recent Jokes

Back in the bad old days when I was working in a fast food joint...
There was one female type person on the night crew. A very attractive
young lady with a penchant for wearing mini-skirts. Needless to say,
we did not object to this in the least. In fact, we used to let her
wipe down the tables up front, instead of slopping the french fryers
and such. Admittedly one of our reasons was that in order to wipe
down the tables she had to lean far over them and stretch. Generally
facing away from the counter.
This was when we learned that she tended to wear panties that matched
her nail polish. No kidding! She came in one day with black nail polish
with silver speckles, and it turned out that she was wearing black
panties with silver spangles. Another day, she came in wearing pink
nail polish on one hand, and blue on the other. The panties were blue
on one cheek, and pink on the other.
But... one evening... great anticipation... When more...

Two Rednecks went bear hunting.
While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear.
He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.
The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.
He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.
Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat. Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another!"

A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, gimme a beer before the trouble starts!" The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and hands the guy a bottle of beer. The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! gimme another beer before the trouble starts!"The barman looks at the guy oddly but hands another beer to the guy. The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"The barman hands him another beer, with a frown on his face, but hands it over reluctantly. Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another beer before the trouble starts!"The barman replies, "Look pal, exactly what trouble are you talking about?" "I haven't got any money!"

There Are Three Mans In That One Man Know The Word We Three Another For Our Happiness And Another Com Fast Then Why Late They
Went To A Country There In The Way From The Airport To Their Lodge They Found An Accidentthe Police Caeme They Asked Them Who
Did It They Said We Three He Asked For What The Other Said For Our Happiness He Said Then Then Come To The Police Station
Another Man Said Then Come Fast Why Late.

The Heading^
The Newspaper Heading Read As Follows: A Man Killed By A Cancelled Train

A blonde's son was playing catch with his friend. The blonde was working in the yard, planting flowers and such. Her son was throwing the baseball back and forth with his friend when he suddenly smiled.
He threw the baseball straight at his blonde mom, and yelled, "Think Fast!!!" so the blonde said silently to herself, "Fast, fast, fast, fast..."
The blonde got herself hit right plop in the head.

A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo, and when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular attrition of the weakest members.

In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.

That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers.

One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. And here’s how it went:
Well ya see Norm, it’s like this…A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.