Favor Jokes / Recent Jokes

President Bill Clinton called Chretien with an emergency: Our largest condom factory has exploded!" the American President cried, "My people's favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!""Bill, da Canadian pipple would be 'appy to do anyt'ing wit'in der power to 'help you," replied the Prime Minister."I do need your help," said Clinton. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?""Certainment! I get right on it!" said Chretien."Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Clinton."Oui?""Could the condoms be red, white & blue in color, at least 10" long and 4" in diameter?" said Clinton."No problem," replied the Prime Minister and, with that, Chretien hung up and called the President of Trojan Condoms."I need a favor, you got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send 'dem to Hamerica.""Consider it done," said the President of more...

Russian President Putin called President George W. Bush with an emergency: "Our largest condom factory has exploded," the Russian President cried. "My people's favorite form of birth control. This is a true disaster!" "Mr. Putin, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you,' replied the President. "I do need your help," said Yeltsin. "Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?" "Why certainly! I'll get right on it," said Bush. "Oh, and one more small favor, please?" said Putin. "Yes?" "Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10' long and 4' in diameter?" said Putin. "No problem," replied the President and, with that, George Dubya hung up and called the President of Freecondoms.com. "I need a favor, you've got to send 1,000,000 condoms right away over to Russia." "Consider it done," said the President of more...

TOP 10 REASONS WHY SOME MEN FAVOR HANDGUNS OVER WOMEN
10 - YOU CAN TRADE IN AN OLD 44 FOR A NEW 22, NO QUESTIONS ASKED.
9 - YOU CAN KEEP ONE HANDGUN AT HOME, AND HAVE ANOTHER FOR WHEN YOU'RE
ON THE ROAD.
8 - IF YOU ADMIRE A FRIEND'S HANDGUN AND TELL HIM SO, HE WILL PROBABLY LET YOU TRY IT OUT A FEW TIMES.
7 - YOUR PRIMARY HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU KEEP ANOTHER HANDGUN FOR A BACK UP.
6 - YOUR HANDGUN WILL STAY WITH YOU EVEN IF YOU RUN OUT OF AMMO.
5 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T TAKE UP A LOT OF CLOSET SPACE.
4 - HANDGUNS FUNCTION NORMALLY EVERY DAY OF THE MONTH.
3 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T ASK, "DO THESE NEW GRIPS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?"
2 - A HANDGUN DOESN'T MIND IF YOU GO TO SLEEP AFTER YOU USE IT.
1 - YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A HANDGUN.

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man:

"Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get down this train in Mannheim, but I'm very tired and it is for sure that I will fall asleep. So what I want you to do is that you wake me up in Mannheim because I have to close a business there and it is very important for me. Here you have 100 francs for the favor. But I warn you sometimes when people wake me up I get really violent, but no matters what I do or say you got to get me out of this train in Mannheim. Is that clear?"

So the ticket man agreed and took the 100 francs. Later as the man had said he fall asleep, and when he woke up he realized that he was in Frankfurt. He was so mad at the ticket man that he ran over and started yelling at the ticket man.

"Are you stupid or something??? I paid you 100 francs so that you wake me up in Mannheim. And you didn't, so I want my money more...

1757
The great stables are built, and scientists are secretly hired by
Claus II to begin an ambitious project that of breeding and
training reindeer to fly.

1773
The flying reindeer are achieved and become Claus II and III's
major form of transportation.

1774
A mutant reindeer, named Rudolf, is born whose nose emits light.
He becomes an outcast of the reindeer society, and is taken in by
the Claus government. Claus II celebrates his 50th birthday,
inviting several other world leaders for a stay at his castle. To
impress them, he displays a lavish show of wealth, all at the
elves' expense. He gives the other leaders the impression of a
dictatorship under the guise of royalty. The elves sense this,
and the seeds of rebellion are planted.

1777
As conditions become increasingly strict, the elves begin to search
for a leader to lead their revolt. Rudolf, still in favor of more...

The Commanding Officer of a Regiment in the U. S. Marine Corps was about to start the morning briefing to his Staff and Battalion and Company Commanders.
While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, he decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was' work' and how much of it was' pleasure?'
The X. O. chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.
Captain said it was 50-50%.
The Colonel's Aide, a Lt., responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the Colonel turned to the Private First Class who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?
With out hesitation, the young Private First Class responded, "Sir, it absolutely has to be 100% pleasure."
The Colonel was surprised and, as you more...

If your favorite color is: RED Tend to be tigers in the sack. They are easily aroused and enjoy sex in every way imaginable. Once the sexual spark is lighted, it may take hours to extinguish. When two Reds get together, the ensuing erotica could make Lady Chatterley blush. Lovers of Red tend to be the aggressors and weaker colors should beware! YELLOW If you tend to favor Yellow your sexual drivers are complex and lean toward the adaptable. The favorite color of homosexuals is Yellow! No don't panic, not everyone who wears Yellow is gay. In most cases the person will acquiesce to the stronger partner's desires in a passive manner. You will never enjoy sex to the fullest, but you will never turn down an invitation from someone you enjoy or admire. PURPLE Lovers of the color Purple frequently consider themselves too regal for a fun romp in the sack. Women sometimes are the type who hate to muss their hair. Men are businesslike in their approach to lovemaking. In both sexes, Purple more...