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Whos the aardvarks favorite female vocalist? Bearbara Streis-ant!

Three Gay Men Die
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated.
Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the
same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, 'My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up
in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky.'
The second man said, 'My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm
going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake
The third man (Bobby) said, 'My Jim was such a good lover, I think
I'm
going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my
ass up just one more time

Three Gay Men Die
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated.
Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the
same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, 'My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up
in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky.'
The second man said, 'My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm
going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake
The third man (Bobby) said, 'My Jim was such a good lover, I think
I'm
going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my
ass up just one more time.

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from his recent accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?" "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the-" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, that you were fine?" "Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and was driving down the road-" "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." By this time the Judge was fairly interested more...

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated.
Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the
same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, 'My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up
in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky.'
The second man said, 'My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm
going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake
The third man (Bobby) said, 'My Jim was such a good lover, I think
I'm
going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my
ass up just one more time.

What is a duck's favorite TV show? The feather forecast!

A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs. He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wifes wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells: "No, you cant have those! Theyre for the funeral!"