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The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.Apple Corporation Sues Itself.[AP] In a move that has industrial analysts scratching their heads, Apple Computers has filed suit against Apple Computers Corporation. The company claims that Apple has violated the Look and Feel of their own machines which has helped to make the company famous.An Apple Spokesperson stated "This is no joke. If we don't protect our copyrighted interface, everyone will use it and we could lose the exclusive right. So it is in our best interests to sue anyone who uses the Macintosh Look and Feel, including ourselves." The spokesperson says Apple has retained the prestigious LA law firm of Kukla, Fran and Ollie to spearhead the lawsuit. Apple's in house lawyers will defend.Long time Apple observer Ernest Dinklefwat stated that this is a sure sign that Apple has too many lawyers and not enough engineers. more...

A college student wrote a letter home to his parents which read:
"Dear Mom and Dad,
I feel so miserable because I have to keep writing home to ask you for money. It makes me feel so ashamed and unhappy, but I must ask for another hundred dollars. I beg on bended knee that you forgive me.
Your son, Rick
P.S. I felt so awful that I ran after the mailman who picked this letter up in the box at the corner. I really wanted to take this letter and burn it. I prayed to God that I could get it back, but it was too late."
A few days later, the student received a letter from his father which read:
"Dear Son,
Your prayers were answered. Your letter never arrived!
Dad"

Q. Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers rather than briefs?
A. Yes, but you'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all.
Q. What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A. Have sex once a year.
Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q. My blood type is O-positive and my husband's is A-negative. What if my baby is born, say, type AB-positive?
A. Then the jig is up.
Q. My husband and I are very attractive. I'm sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
A. Your therapist.
Q. I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A. With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q. My brother tells me that since my husband has a big nose, and genes for big noses are more...

Clint was sitting in a bar having a drink and noticed that the barmaid was one hot looking babe. He slapped twenty bucks on the table and said to her, "I betcha I can keep an eye on this drink while I go to the bathroom."
Knowing the bathroom was around the corner, she accepted his bet.
He removed his glass eye, placed it beside the drink and went to the bathroom.
When he returned, he challenged, "I betcha I can bite my own nose."
She accepted his bet.
Clint took out his false teeth, nipped his nose and scooped up the money yet again.
"Okay, look," he said, "I'll give you a chance to win your money back. I betcha I can make love to you so tenderly that you won't even feel a thing."
Now this was one thing that she definitely knew about, so she accepted his bet.
Clint lifted her skirt and went to town.
"I can feel you," she said with a giggle.
"Oh, well," replied Clint, "you win more...

An old man on the beach said to a beautiful girl in a bikini, "I want to feel your breasts!"
"Get away from me, you crazy old man!" she replied.
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you twenty dollars," he said.
"Twenty dollars, are you nuts!? Get away from me!"
"I want to feel your breasts, I will give you $100!" he stated.
"NO! Get away from me!"
"$200", he offered.
She paused to think about it, but then comes to her senses and said, "I said NO!"
"$500 if you let me feel your breasts," he claimed. She thought, well he is old, and he seems harmless enough... and $500 IS a lot of money... "Well, OK... but only for a minute."
She loosened her bikini top and while both are standing there on the beach, he slid his hands underneath and began to feel. Then he started saying, "OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD... OH MY GOD..." while he was caressing more...

FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it`s an even trade.

NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give more...

Pride is what you feel when your kids net $143 from a garage sale.
Panic is what you feel when you realize your car is missing.