Field Jokes / Recent Jokes
This blonde was driving down an old country road when she spots a blonde in a wheat field rowing a boat. She pulls over to the side of the road and stops the car. Staring in disbelief she stands at the side of the road to watch the woman for a while. When she could not stand it any more she called out to the blonde in the field. “Why are you rowing a boat in the middle of the field? ” The blonde in the field stops rowing and responds, ”Because it is an ocean of wheat. ” The blonde standing on the side of the road is furious. She yells at the blonde in the field. “It is blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name. ” The blonde in the field just shrugged her shoulders and began rowing again. The blonde on the side of the road was beside herself and shook her fist at the blonde in the field yelling, “If I could swim, I would come out there and kick your ass! ”
Teacher: Correct The Sentence, "A Bull And A Cow Is Grazing In The Field Student: A Cow And A Bull Are Grazing In The Field Teacher Teacher: How? Student: Ladies First.
A big city lawyer was out duck hunting in rural Arizona. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell on the other side of a fence into a farmer's field. Just as the lawyer climbed over the fence, an old farmer drove up on his tractor and asked the lawyer what he thought he was doing.
"The duck I shot fell into this field, so I'm going to retrieve it," replied the lawyer.
"Listen, mister, this is my property and you're not coming over here," snarled the old farmer.
"Look, old man, I happen to be one of the best trial attorneys in the country, and either you let me get that duck or I'll sue you and take everything you own," demanded the lawyer.
"Looks like you don't know how we do things in these parts," said the farmer. "Around here we settle little disagreements like this with the Three Kick Rule."
"What's the Three Kick Rule?" asked the lawyer.
"Well, first I kick you three times, then you kick me more...
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
At The Superbowl Bob received a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50 yard line. He decided to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man said "no". Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Superbowl and not use it?!" The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Superbowl we haven't been to together more...
A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets to talking.
The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at
least twice as large."
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan
immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows."
This goes on for a while and the Aussie is quite pissed off with the Texan farmer's showing off. The
conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the
field. He asks, "And what are those"? The Aussie replies with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas?"
No rain had fallen for months and the group of Indians were faced with a long drought. Suddenly, one spoke up.' When I was in England I saw something that might work. What happens is that two men in white coats go into a field and hammer six poles into the ground, then another two men with clubs appear and stand in front of the poles. Then eleven men, also in white, come out holding a ball, and then, just when they are all spread round the field, that's when the rain comes pouring down!