Field Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bob received a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrived at the stadium he realized the seat was in the last row in the corner of the stadium. He was closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field!

About halfway through the first quarter, Bob noticed an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 50-yard line. He decided to take a chance and made his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.

As he sat down, he asked the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man said "No."

Very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob said to the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!"

The man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl more...

A rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up.As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.' Wow, this is great,' he thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass. "Hey," he called. "I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?" "Yes. Come and join us," they cried. Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass. I tasted so good. "What else do you wild rabbits do?" he asked. "Well," one of them said. "You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them." This, he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he more...

One fine morning a sardar goes for a ride in his car. He is enjoying his
ride when suddenly he sees another sardarji in the middle of a field
rowing a boat.
Puzzled he stops the car and standing at the edge of the road screams,
"what are you doing rowing a boat in a field?".
The sardarji answers "it is an ocean of wheat and i am rowing a boat in
the ocean."
The sardar angrily says "it is because of sardars like you we have a bad
name. If only i knew to swim i would have come there and beaten you up".

Q: What do you call a bull in the middle of a field spanking his monkey? A: Beef Stroganoff

A kid comes home from college. His father is a farmer, and he's shoveling all the manure out of the outhouse onto the hay crop to fertilize it. The kid says, "Hey, Pop - I learned in college that there is an easier way to do everything." They go into town and get some dynamite. They're gonna rig it up under the outhouse and blow the manure into the hay field. They get it all rigged up, but they don't see Grandma coming to use the outhouse. Ba-Booom! The manure goes flying, and so does Grandma. Ploop! She lands in the hay field. They go running up to her. "Grandma, Grandma! My God, are you alright? Are you alright?" She says, "Yeah, I'm fine. Phew! I'm certainly glad I didn't let that one go in the kitchen!"

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, " We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows".The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, "And what are those"?The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, "Don`t you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Tennessee. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence to collect the bird, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The lawyer replied, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field. Now I'm going in to retrieve it."
The old farmer looked the lawyer in the eyes and stated firmly, "This is my property, and you are not coming over here."
The lawyer huffed angrily, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the country. If you don't let me get my duck, I'll sue you."
The old farmer smiled. "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Tennessee. We settle small disagreements like this with the Tennessee Three Kick Rule."
The lawyer asked, "What's the Tennessee Three Kick Rule?"
The Farmer answered, "Well, first I kick you three times and then you more...