Finance Jokes / Recent Jokes
An investment firm is hiring mathematicians. After the first round of interviews, three hopeful recent graduates - a pure mathematician, an applied mathematician, and a graduate in mathematical finance - are asked what starting salary they are expecting.
The pure mathematician: "Would $30, 000 be too much?"
The applied mathematician: "I think $60, 000 would be OK."
The math finance person: "What about $300, 000?"
The personnel officer is flabberghasted: "Do you know that we have a graduate in pure mathematics who is willing to do the same work for a tenth of what you are demanding!?"
"Well, I thought of $135, 000 for me, $135, 000 for you - and $30, 000 for the pure mathematician who will do the work."
What's the difference between buying a lottery ticket and buying a penny stock?
In the first case, you help finance the local community swimming pool
In the second case, you help finance the stock promoters' home pool.
THE rules specified that before sanctioning any work, concurrence had to be obtained from the Associated Finance wing of the Ministry.
A project for' Construction of a Bungalow with Outhouse' was sent to the Finance wing for expeditious approval. The file came back promptly with the observation,' Not agreed. A Bungalow without House is inconceivable.'
WHEN the Bharatiya Janata Party came to power in the Centre after winning a mid-term poll, the Prime Minister L. K. Advani invited Dr Manmohan Singh to join the Union Cabinet as Finance Minister because he had successfully piloted and implemented the economic and fiscal policies of the BJP.
Dr Manmohan Singh accepted the offer graciously.
As soon as Banta Singh learnt about this, he rang up Dr Manmohan Singh:' O Bhai Manmohan Singha, tu te Congressi honda si, te Sanghi kadun tu ho giya?' (O, Manmohan Singh, you were a Congressman before; since when have you joined the BJP?)
Dr Manmohan Singh:' O Bhai Banta, Natey pahley main Congressi si, na hun main Sanghi nan, - main te pahle vi Finance Minister si, te hun vi Finance Minister han! (Neither was I a Congessman first nor am I a BJP man now; I was then a Finance Minister and I am now a Finance Minister.)