Fireman Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q: How can you tell when a Chicago Fireman is dead? A: The remote control slips from his hand.

Once there was a woman taking a shower when she heard a knock on door. A voice called, "It's me, the fireman."
So the woman wrapped a towel around herself and went to the door. The fireman said, "Congratulate me, I just put out a fire!"
So the woman congratulated him and went back to her shower. Then she heard another knock on her door and a voice called, "It's me, the policeman".
So the woman wrapped a towel around herself and went to the door. The policeman said, "Congratulate me, I just caught a robber".
So the woman congratulated him and went back to her shower. But before long she heard another knock on her door and a voice called, "It's me, the blind man," so she didn't bother putting a towel around herself and answered the door where the blind man said, "Congratulate me, I just got my eyesight back!"

A fireman looked out of the fire house window and noticed a little boy playing on the sidewalk. He had his little red wagon, and he had hung small ladders on the side of it, and coiled the garden hose up in it, and he was wearing a fireman's hat. He had the wagon tied to his dog, so that the dog could pull the wagon.
The fireman thought this was really cute so he went out and told the little boy what a great looking fire truck he had.
As he did, he noticed that the dog was tied to the wagon by his testicles. The fireman said, "Son, I don't want to try to tell you how to run your fire company or anything, but I think if you would tie that rope around the dog's neck you would go faster."
"Maybe so," said the little boy, "But then I'd lose my siren!"

Apparently true...

Why we have AQIS Australian Quarantine Inspection Service - creepy. Apparently its completely true.

This bloke and his family were on holiday in the States and went to Mexico for a week. As he is an avid cactus fan he bought a rare and expensive cactus there, it was about a metre high and cost about $500 Aus. He got it home and the customs people were none too impressed so they said it must stay in quarantine for 3 months, cost $800 or so.

He finally got his cactus home and planted it in his backyard where over time it grew to about 2 metres or so in height.

One evening after a beautiful warm spring day he was out watering his garden and thought he might give the cactus a light spray. This he did and was amazed to see the plant shiver all over, he gave it another light spray and it shivered and shook again. All its arms moved. He was puzzled so he rang the council who put him on to the state gardens.

After a few more...