Fisherman Jokes / Recent Jokes

Many years ago, a fishermans wife blessed her husband with twin sons. They loved the children very much, but couldnt think of what to name their children. Finally, after several days, the fisherman said, "Lets not decide on names right now. If we wait a little while, the names will simply occur to us." After several weeks had passed, the fisherman and his wife noticed a peculiar fact. When left alone, one of the boys would also turn towards the sea, while the other boy would face inland. It didnt matter which way the parents positioned the children, the same child always faced the same direction. "Lets call the boys Towards and Away," suggested the fisherman. His wife agreed, and from that point on, the boys were simply known as Towards and Away. The years passed and the lads grew tall and strong. The day came when the aging fisherman said to his sons, "Boys, it is time that learned how to make a living from the sea." They provisioned their ship, said more...

"You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you should be working rather than lying on the beach!"
The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?" "Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer.
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling. The businessman replied, "You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat, which will then result in larger catches of fish!"
"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again. The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions. "You can buy a bigger boat, and hire some people to work for you!" he said.
"And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman. The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can build up a more...

There was this fisherman that always had a good day fishing. His friend, the game warden, couldn't figure out how he did it, so one day the game warden decided to go fishing with his friend. The fisherman took his friend the warden out to his favorite spot. Once there, the fisherman took a stick of dynamite out of his backpack, lit it, and threw it into the water. The dynamite exploded and a dozen fish floated to the top. The game warden said, "That's illegal, you can't do that."The fisherman goes, "Really?" He then lights another stick of dynamite and throws it into the water. The dynamite exploded, and a dozen more fish floated to the top. The game warden said, "Stop that now, and take this boat back to shore...I'm going to have to give you a citation and confiscate all your gear." The fisherman said,"Oh, really?" He then lights another stick of dynamite, throws it into the game warden's lap, and said "You gonna sit there and keep more...

Two Polish guys were taking their first trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas, which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldn't eat that if I were you.""Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute!"
There were three guys walking together, a Newfie, a Quebecer, and a Vancouver guy. They came across a lantern and a genie popped out."I will give you each one wish; that's three wishes in total!" The Newfie said, "I am a fisherman, my dad's a fisherman, and his dad was a fisherman, and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish". Poof! The oceans were full of fish.The Quebecer was amazed! He said, "I want a wall around Quebec, so nothing will get in!" Poof! There was a wall more...

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help. A trout fisherman ran up.
The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I"ll give you a hundred dollars."
The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.
Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother- in-law."
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help.
A local fisherman ran up. The man gasped, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I"ll give you a hundred dollars."
The fisherman dived into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.
Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, buddy, where's my hundred?"
The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law."
The fisherman reached into his pocket and said... "Just my luck! So tell me, what do I owe you?"

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help.A local fisherman ran up. The man gasped, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I"ll give you a hundred dollars."The fisherman dived into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore.Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, buddy, where's my hundred?"The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law."The fisherman reached into his pocket and said... "Just my luck! So tell me, what do I owe you?"