Flat Jokes / Recent Jokes
A semitone flat on the high notes.
A square with only three sides.
A steering wheel / few bolts short of a Yugo.
A teapot with a cracked lid.
A titanic intellect... In a world full of icebergs.
A vacuum-tube brain in a microchip world.
A VGA card and a Herc monitor.
A victim of retroactive birth control.
A violin minus the bow.
A walking argument for birth control.
A wind-up clock without a key.
About half smart.
Afraid she`ll void her warranty if she thinks too much.
Airhead / bubble-brain.
Aliens zapped him with stupidity ray -- twice.
A motorist had a flat tire in front of an insane asylum. He took the wheel off, but when he stood up he tipped over the hubcap containing the bolts, spilling them all down a sewer drain.A patient, looking through the fence, suggested that the man take one bolt from
the remaining three wheels to hold the fourth wheel in place until he could get to a service station.The motorist thanked him profusely and said, "I don't know why you are in that place."The patient said, "I'm in here for being crazy, not for being stupid."
Reporter: Governor Clinton, what damage do you think has been done to your campaign by your wife`s comment the other day about how "Hitler was really a great guy"?
Clinton: (Mixture of sadness and anger, but articulate as always.) Hillary and myself are shocked, outraged, and deeply saddened by this terrible misunderstanding. The media hype is way out of proportion. You guys should know us by now--we would never say anything like that. And though she did say a few things about Germany she certainly didn`t mean anything offensive by her remarks, which I might add have been willfully and shamefully taken out of context and distorted. There is nothing in my life, or Hillary`s life, which can be construed as derogatory toward the German people. We honor them. Some of our best friends are Germans. My own grandmother was one-quarter German. And it certainly isn`t true that Germans are excluded from our country club. In my eleven years as Governor of Arkansas I was more...
"Lie flat on your backs, class, and circle your feet in the air as if you were riding your bikes," said the gym teacher. "Fred! What are you doing? Move your feet, boy." "Im freewheeling, sir."
Alabama
Literacy ain't everything
Ya want fries with dat?
Alaska
Come, freeze your butt off
Arizona
Winter home to 150,000 snowbirds
Arkansas
At least we're not Mississippi
California
The Granola State
Nobody's actually from here
Fast reloading lanes available
The really long state
Colorado
Too wimpy to cross the mountains so we stopped here
Official home of the winter ski bunny
Connecticut
Way too close to New York
Delaware
You'll need a map to find us
So close to Washington you can smell it
Florida
The Gunshine State
Elephant Graveyard; where the old Republicans go to die
Senior citizen discounts available
Come, enjoy the humidity
The snow capital of the US
Georgia
Home of the Rednecks
Gateway to Florida
Confederate money welcome
Hawaii
Sure, we've got Interstates... drive on over
Book 'em Danno
Tom Seleck, Jack Lord, Don Ho - more...
there was a 3 floored flat the guy on the top didnt have a sink so he had t5o shave out of a window the guy on the 2nd floor didnt have a toilet so he had to piss out of the window and the guy on the first floor was having a bbq the guy at the top dropped his razor and it cut of the guys dick onthe second floor and they landed on the bbq and the guy came out and said yeah i got a sausage and 2 meet balls and the knife came in handy