Food Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q. How do astronauts eat their ice creams
A. In floatsQ: How do you make a dinosaur float?
A: Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur!Q: What do you get from an Alaskan cow?
A: Ice CreamQ: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a bowl of ice cream by its diameter?
A: Pi a'la mode.
A State Police colleague of mine once received a call from a woman who asked him how to baste a turkey. After a stunned moment, he, being a fairly good cook, described the procedure. Then he asked,
"But why would you call the State Police to find out how to baste a turkey?"There was only a slight hesitation before she replied, "Well, you knew, didn't you?" and hung up.
In February 1994 in New Brighton, Minn., a 32-year-old man and his 24-year-old girlfriend were arrested after a food fight in a grocery store. After arguing loudly, the couple began throwing sweet potatoes at each other. Eventually, the man allegedly threw the woman into several vegetable racks, sending the contents spilling to the floor. As both continued to brawl on the floor, she allegedly stuffed lettuce into the man's mouth.
· The food in our school canteen is perfect.
If you’re a bug! · How do bees get to school?
By school buzz! · What are you going to be when you get out of school?
An old man! · What did you learn in school today?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow! · I`m not going back to school ever again
Why ever not?
The teacher doesn`t know a thing; all she does is asking questions! · Is that school food spicy?
No, smoke always comes out of my ears!
A man approaches an ice cream van and asks, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're out of chocolate.""In that case," the man continued, "I'll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream.""You don't understand, sir," the girl says. "We have no chocolate.""Then just give me some chocolate," he insists.Getting angrier by the second, the girl asked, "Sir, will you spell' van,' as in' vanilla?'"The man spells, "V A N.""Now spell' straw,' as in' strawberry.'""OK. S-T-R-A-W.""Now," the girl asked, "spell' stink,' as in chocolate."The man hesitates, then confused, replied, "There is no stink in chocolate.""That's what I've been trying to tell you!" she screams.
People are always on the lookout for a new diet. The trouble with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the starvation diet), you don't get enough variation ( the liquid diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently, people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days. Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet! Over the years you may have noticed that most two years olds are trim. Now the formula to their success is available to all in this new diet. You may want to consult you doctor before embarking on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards. Good luck!!! DAY ONE---- Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes. Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handfull of potato chips, and a glass of milk ( 3 sips only, then spill the rest) Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips more...
Knock KnockWhos there! Bean! Bean who? Bean working very hard today!