Frame Jokes

Engineering is so trendy these days that everybody wants to be one. The word "engineer" is greatly
overused. If there's somebody in your life who you think is trying to pass as an engineer, give him
this test to discern the truth.
THE ENGINEER IDENTIFICATION TEST
You walk into a room and notice that a picture is hanging crooked. You...
1. Straighten it.
2. Ignore it.
3. Buy a CAD system and spend the next six months designing a solar-powered,
self-adjusting picture frame.
The correct answer is "C" but partial credit can be given to anybody who writes "It
depends." in the margin of the test or simply blames the whole stupid thing on "Marketing."
SOCIAL SKILLS - Engineers have different objectives when it comes to social interaction.
"Normal" people expect to accomplish several unrealistic things from social interaction:
stimulating and thought-provoking conversation, more...

One day two blondes walk into a bar. They go up to the bar tender, order somes drinks and then go to a table and celebrating and chanting, "51 days,51 days,51 days!" A couple seconds later two more blondes walk in, order drinks, and go to the same table as the other blondes and start chanting, "51 days,51 days,51 days!" Then another blonde walks in and goes up to the bar. The bar tender notices a picture frame in her hand. She gets her drink and goes to the same table, sets the picture in the middle of the table and starts chanting "51 days." The bar tender was so curious what they were doing so he went over and saw a puzzle in the picture frame on the table. Finally, he asked the blonde, "What are you guys celebrating and why are you chanting 51?"
The blonde replied, "Well, we all put this puzzle together and on the box it said 2 to 4 years but we put it together in 51 days!"

Preparing for a tag sale at our house, my wife and I decided to put out a mirror we'd received as a wedding gift. Because of its garish aqua colored metal frame we just couldn't find a room in our house where it looked good. Shortly after the tag sale started, a man looking to decorate his apartment bought it for one dollar.

"This is a great deal," he said excitedly." It still has the plastic on it."

Then he peeled off the aqua colored protective covering to reveal a beautiful gold finished frame.

Hi. I'm Mike. I'd like to (sex) tell you about some weird psychological phenomenon (sleep with me) that has been in the media forefront (I'm your love slave) in the past few years. I'm talking about subliminal suggestion.
Subliminal suggestion (buy me a car) is a technique in which the subconscious is made aware of a concept by having it exposed (and a stereo) to them too fast or in a way the the conscious mind can pick (you want me) up. Thus, the person so suggested (my room 8PM tonite) finds himself doing something that he ordinarily wouldn't do (bring clean sheets).
This technique was often seen being used (I'll get the champagne) in movie theatres, where one frame of a film would have a message like "Buy the popcorn." (and the condoms). This one frame goes by so fast the the conscious mind can't possibly assimilate it (I have incredible stamina), but many believe that the subconscious picks it up and causes the mind (I really want you) to act on it.
Does it more...

A women, really loved her dog named Simba. The women once went to wash and this dog went with her as he always did. The lady filled the bath with a lot of bubbles and she went in. The dog jumped in with her and she couldn't see the dog so she was calling him "simba simba." While she was lookig for the dog, the dog jumped out of the bath and went out. She went after him nude, but the dog went outside in the street. She was confused of what she was going to do because she was nude. So she said to herself "people now got used to the top part the problem is underneath" So she got a frame with a picture. And she went out. Everyone looking at her. She saw a police and stopped him and said "have you seen my dog Simba?" While asking him the photo slipped out of the frame and everything was on show. And the police tolde her "I didn't see the dog i am now seeing a pussy!!!"