Fumbles Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three guys die on Christmas Eve and are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. "In honor of the Season," St. Peter says, "each of you must possess something that symbolizes Christmas."
The first man fumbles through his pockets and pulls out two lighters. Holding them up proudly, he flicks them on.
"What do they symbolize?" asks St. Peter.
"They're candles!" replies the man.
"Ah, yes! You may pass through the Pearly Gates," says St. Peter.
The second man fumbles through his pockets and pulls out a couple sets of keys. He holds them up proudly and shakes them.
"What do they symbolize?" inquires St. Peter.
"They're bells!" the man replies.
"Ah, yes! You may pass through the Pearly Gates," says St. Peter.
The third man fumbles desperately through his pockets. Finally, he pulls out a skimpy pair of silk panties and proudly holds them up.
Puzzled, St. Peter asks, "What more...

a beautiful blonde driving a red sports car was pulled over by the police for speeding. the officer gets out and asks for her license. the blonde looking confused fumbles around the officer says chec your wallet its probably there. she finds it and gives it to him. he then asks for the registration she fumbles around and the officer says check the glove box. she finds it and he goes back to the car to call it in. the dispatcher comes back and says hey is that a pretty blonde driving a red sports car? the officer says yes. the dispatcher says man take her papers back and stand there and drop your pants. the officer says why, the dispatcher says just do it! he goes back and gives her papers and drops his pants. the blonde looks down and says "oh man not another breathalyzer test!"