Funny Puns Jokes / Recent Jokes
Q: Why did the scientist install a door knocker on his door and not a door bell?
We painted our floor with luminous paint. So now the florescent what it used to be.
My sister opened a computer store on a beach in Hawaii. She sells C shells by the seashore.
A friend of mine told some jokes about religion and got put on the Sects Offenders List.
A guy turns up at a costume party carrying a woman on his back. "What are you supposed to be?" asked the host. "I'm a snail." he said, "Can't you see, I'm carrying Michelle on my back."
Gardeners' playing cards - weed em and reap.
A six-foot termite walks into a bar. He raps on the bar and asks: "Excuse me...is the bar tender here?"
Perforation is a rip-off!
A poor soul worked at a company making blankets. He lost his job when the company folded.
And of course, there was the pillow and mattress manufacturing company that had a problem with staff... Some of them just felt down all the time, and the rest were sleeping on the job.
And don't forget about more...
Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed them, and started growling and generally getting really mean.
The bear started to chase one of the guys, who, as it turns out, was from Czechoslovakia. The bear soon caught up with him, and ate him alive. The other guy turned around and ran for his life.
A little while later, the second guy found a park ranger station and told his story. The ranger took his gun, and they both went out in search of the bear, in order to destroy it.
Soon, they came across two bears, one male, and one female. The ranger turned to the other guy and said: "Quick... tell me which bear ate your friend!" The ranger levelled his gun and got ready to shoot.
"I'm not really sure," said the other guy, "they both look similar." "QUICK! Make up your mind!" said the ranger. "O.K.," said the other, "it was the male."
The ranger more...
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye deer.
A barman looks out the window of his bar and sees a guy riding a horse dressed in a hunting outfit with a rifle over one arm and a hound running along beside him.
He dismounts and comes walking into the bar where upon he takes the rifle off his shoulder and starts wandering around with his dog sniffing ever table, chair and small corner of the bar. After a while he approaches the barman who asks him what he's doing.
And the guy replies - "I'm hunting you idiot... can't you see that
!" "OK, OK..." says the barman, "Would you like a drink while you hunt ?".
Immediately the hunter says, " Do you have any cheap Gin !!?".
Rather taken a back by the abruptness of his request the barman replies, "No I'm sorry I'm all out of the cheap stuff is there anything else you'd like? ".
"No" says the hunter and he starts to leave.
As he reaches the door the barman calls after him, "Btw pal... exactly what do more...
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer.
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no eye deer.
what do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no skin?
Venison.