Gambler Jokes / Recent Jokes

A man goes into a bar, and he looks like a complete bum. He sits down and asks for a bottle of brandy. The bartender says"
I am going to have to see some money first"
. So...out of his pocket, the bum takes a HUGE wad of 20's 50's and 100 dollar bills.
The bartender...stunned of course says "
Jesus crist, how did you get all that?"
The man replies, "
I am a gambling man."
"
But gambling is only 50/50. How can you win so much money!?"
"
I only bet on the things I know I can win on."
Says the gambler. "
take this for example. I bet you $200 I can bite my right eye."
The bartender says "
Yeah right. Go ahead."
So the man takes out his right false eye and bites it.
"
Damn you! You jipped me"
the bartender yelled."
and gave the man $200
"
That's how I win money. ok...got another one. I'll bet you another $200 I can more...

During the Great Depression, there was this man who walked into a bar one day. He walked up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks".

The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first". The guy pulls out a huge wad of bills and sets them on the bar. Well, the bartender can't believe what he's seeing.

"Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender. "I'm a professional gambler", replied the man. The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are 50-50 at best, right?"

"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy. "Like what?" asked the bartender?

"Well, for example, I'll bet you $50 that I can bite my right eye." The bartender thought about it. "OK". So, the guy pulls out his false right eye and bites it. "Aw, you more...

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks." The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first." The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender. "I'm a professional gambler," replied the man. The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?" "Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy. "Like what?" asked the bartender. "Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said. The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said. So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said more...

Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark!

A man who walked into a bar one day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the house a round of drinks."
The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."
The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that money?" asked the bartender.
"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.
The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"
"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.
"Like what?" asked the bartender.
"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.
The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.
So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," more...