Gang Jokes / Recent Jokes
The Math Test California officials have determined that students would probably do better with math word problems, if they could relate them to real life examples. Towards that end, may I present: The City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency ExamName: _______________________________ Gang: ___________________________ 1. Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload? 2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it? 3. Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800-per-day crack habit? 4. Jarome want to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need? 5. Willie gets more...
Do you remember the Charlie Brown specials that taught valuable life lessons to a generation of kids? Well here are some new episodes:
Peanuts specials for kids of the 90's:
We learn about VD in:
"IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN"
Charlie and the little redheaded girl learn about unwanted pregnancy in:
"I'M STARTING TO SHOW, CHARLIE BROWN!"
Is Linus gay?
"ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN"
Charlie moves back to his house in East L.A in:
"OYE! VATO! QUE PASA, CARLITO MORENO?"
See how the Peanuts Gang deals with date rape in:
"NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!"
Franklin speaks! The Peanuts gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in:
"IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN"
What goes on the mind of a serial killer? Discover the inner workings of Pig Pen's twisted psyche and meet his murderous alter ego "Mr. Clean" in:
"GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE more...
Do you remember the Charlie Brown specials that taught valuable life lessons to a generation of kids? Well here are some new episodes:Peanuts specials for kids of the 90's:We learn about VD in:"IT BURNS WHEN I PEE, CHARLIE BROWN"Charlie and the little redheaded girl learn about unwanted pregnancy in:"I'M STARTING TO SHOW, CHARLIE BROWN!"Is Linus gay?"ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF LOVE, CHARLIE BROWN"Charlie moves back to his house in East L.A in:"OYE! VATO! QUE PASA, CARLITO MORENO?"See how the Peanuts Gang deals with date rape in:"NO MEANS NO, CHARLIE BROWN!"Franklin speaks! The Peanuts gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in:"IMO BUSTA CAP INYO ASS, CHARLIE BROWN"What goes on the mind of a serial killer? Discover the inner workings of Pig Pen's twisted psyche and meet his murderous alter ego "Mr. Clean" in:"GOD TOLD ME TO DO IT, CHARLIE BROWN"Schroder teaches the Peanuts gang about getting high in:"ROLL US A FAT more...
A gang of hoodlums began hanging out on the steps of the church and hassling worshipers as they came in and out. Finally, the situation got so bad that complaints reached Father Murphy, who decided to go out and talk to the teenagers.
The priest's appearance was greeted by hoots and catcalls. But he went up to the leader and said, "Boys, I think there are better places for you to hang out than on God's doorstep."
The gang leader defiantly said, "F**k God."
Father Murphy winced. "You're risking God's wrath by breaking His holy laws and taking his name."
The gang leader said, "F**k God's laws. You name one, I break it. I swear, I f**k, I steal, I smoke, I shoot people. I'll tell you what. I'm gonna break every single f**king law the church has ever make."
The priest said, "Do you really mean that?"
The gang leader turned to his buddies and said, "Do I ever go back on a promise? Blood oath. I'm gonna break more...
The Math Test California officials have determined that students would probably do better with math word problems, if they could relate them to real life examples. Towards that end, may I present: The City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency ExamName:_______________________________ Gang:___________________________ 1.Johnny has an AK-47 with an 80-round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload? 2.Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Billy for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it? 3.Rufus is pimping for three girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800-per-day crack habit? 4.Jarome want to cut his 1/2 pound of heroin to make 20% more profit. How many ounces of cut will he need? 5.Willie gets $200 more...
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $50 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers... we had $100 when we broke in!"
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers! We had $100 when we broke in!"