Gash Jokes

The OJ trial as Told by Dr. Seuss

I did not kill my lovely wife.
I did not slash her with a knife.
I did not bonk her on the head.
I did not know that she was dead.

I stayed at home that fateful night.
I took a limo, then took a flight.
The bag I had was just for me.
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be!

When I came home, I had a gash.
My hand was cut from broken glass.
I cut my hand on broken glass.
A broken glass did cause that gash.

My friend, he took me for a ride.
All through LA, from side to side.
From north to south, we took a ride.
But from the cops we could not hide.

My trial lasted for a year.
A year! A year! Just sitting here!
The DNA, the HEM, the HAW!
The circus-hype the viewers saw!
A year! A year! Just sitting here!

Did you do this awful crime?
Did you do this anytime?
I did not do this awful crime.
I could not, more...

I did not kill my pretty wife
I did not slash her with a knife
I did not bonk her on the head
I did not know that she was dead.
I stayed at home that fateful night
I took a cab, then took a flight
The bag I had was just for me
My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be!
When I came home I had a gash
My hand was cut from broken glass
I cut my hand on broken glass
A broken glass did cause that gash.
My friend, he took me for a ride
All through LA, from side to side
From north to south, we took a ride
But from the cops we could not hide.
My trial it lasted for a year
A year! A year! Just sitting here
The DNA, the HEM- the HAW!
The circus-hype the viewers saw!
If found guilty, I will appeal
Appeal! Appeal! I will appeal!
I'll wheedle and whine- I'll cut a deal!
To hear "not guilty" so glad I'll feel!
Did you do this awful crime?
Did you do this anytime?
I did not do this awful more...

A boy walks into the bathroom and catches his mom sitting on the bowl in her full glory.
He runs out to tell his father. He asks his father "What's that big gash between mommy's legs?"
The father replies, "That's where I accidentally hit her with an axe!"
The boy replies "WOW, you got her right in the cunt!"