Gathering Jokes / Recent Jokes

At a family gathering, husband began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. "Honey," she said to her husband, "when I get my way, that's a compromise." "What is it when I get my way?" he was quick to ask. She replied, "That's a miracle!"

How offensive is that? Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and sympathize with Him. As Jesus looks out over the gathering he calls to one of his apostle's. "Paul... Paul," He calls out. Paul hears his name and comes to the front of the gathering. "Yes Jesus, how may I serve you" he exclaims. Just then a guard comes up to Paul, cuts Paul's right arm off with his sword, and throws him back into the crowd, saying "No one is allowed to speak with the prisoner!" Jesus once again calls his name. "Paul. . . Paul", he calls. Paul, determined goes to the front of the gathering again. There he meets the same gaurd who this time cuts off the left arm, and both legs and throws him back into the crowd. Jesus yells out once again, "Paul,... Paul". Paul, who is now lying on his back on the ground attempts to roll to the front of the gathering. The guard seeing this more...

Jesus has just been nailed to the cross and has begun to suffer
from the wounds, A crowd has gathered to watch and
sympathize with Him. As Jesus looks out over the gathering he
calls to one of his apostle's. "Paul... Paul," He calls out.
Paul hears his name and comes to the front of the
gathering. "Yes Jesus, how may I serve you" he exclaims. Just
then a guard comes up to Paul, cuts Paul's right arm off with
his sword, and throws him back into the crowd, saying "No
one is allowed to speak with the prisoner!"
Jesus once again calls his name. "Paul. . . Paul", he calls.
Paul, determined goes to the front of the gathering again. There
he meets the same gaurd who this time cuts off the left arm, and
both legs and throws him back into the crowd.
Jesus yells out once again, "Paul,... Paul". Paul, who is now
lying on his back on the ground attempts to roll to the front more...

A couple of years ago, the following joke was told at a Mensa gathering:
Rene Descartes was sitting at a bar. The bartender came over and asked if he would like another drink. He replied, "I think not." And he vanished.
A another gathering some time later, a second part of the joke was noted:
Heisenburg was also sitting at the bar. After Descartes vanished in a puff of smoke, the bartender walked over to him and asked, "Did you see that?" To which Heisenburg replied, "I can't be certain."
This weekend, when I attempted to take this joke even further, we came up with a couple more people at the bar:
The bartender then noticed Einstein was there. So he asked him if he could believe what had happened. Einstein replied, "It's all relative."
Then the bartender noticed that Carl Sagan was there. He walked over to him and asked, "Can you believe that all these famous people are here in THIS bar?" Sagan replied, more...

At a family gathering, husband began teasing his wife about how she always get her way. "Honey," she said to her husband, "when I get my way, thats a compromise." "What is it when I get my way?" he was quick to ask. She replied, "Thats a miracle!"