Gender Jokes / Recent Jokes

Q. What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?
A. Money

1.The Optimist - "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
2.The Pessimist - "No! No! No!"
3.The Confused - "Yes! No! Yes! No! Yes! Yes! No! No!"
4.The Asthmatic - written rendition of gasping
5.The Sprinter - "Faster! Agh! Faster! Faster!"
6.The Religious - "Oh God! Oh God! Oh God!
7.The Mathematician - "More! More! More! More!

An Indian runner was stripped of her medal at the Asian games for failing a gender test. The obvious fallout is even more questioning of Floyd Landis’ “elevated testosterone” defense.

Seems God was just about done creating the universe, but he had two extra things left in his bag of creations, so he decided to split them between Adam and Eve. He told the couple that one of the things he had to give away was the ability to stand up while urinating.
"It's a very handy thing," God told the couple. "I was wondering if either one of you wanted the ability."
Adam jumped up and blurted, "Oh, give that to me! I'd love to please,oh please, oh please, let me have that ability, It'd be so great! When I'm working in the garden or naming the animals, I could just stand there and let it fly. It'd be so cool, I could write my name in the sand. Oh please God, let it be me who you give that gift to, let me stand and pee, oh please..."
On and on he went like an excited little boy who had to pee.
Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted that so badly, that he should have it. It seemed to be the sort of thing that would more...

The top six reasons computers must be female: 6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner. 5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic. 4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. 3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else. 2. The message "Bad Command or File Name" is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you". AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON COMPUTERS ARE FEMALE: As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it.

(o)(o) perfect breasts ( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts (*)(*) high nipple breasts (@)(@) big nipple breasts oo a cups { O }{ O } d cups (oYo) wonder bra breasts ( ^ )( ^ ) cold breasts (o)(O) lopsided breasts (Q)(O) pierced breasts (p)(p) hanging tassels breasts o/o/ Grandma's breasts ( - )( - ) flat against the shower door breasts |o||o| android breasts ($)($) Jenny McCarthy's breasts

Cover charge: $15.00
Round of drinks: $23.00
Table dance: $30.00
Another round of drinks: $23.00
Lap dance and tips: $50.00
A round of shots: $34.00
Private dance in your hotel room: $300.00

Send her on her way and never have to hear her complain: PRICELESS!
. .. There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard.