Genuine Jokes

One afternoon in the Arctic, a father polar bear and his son polar bear are sitting in the snow.
The son polar bear turns to his father and asks, "Dad, am I 100% polar bear?"
The father polar bear replies, "Of course, son, you're 100% polar bear."
A few minutes pass, and the son polar bear turns to his father again and says, "Dad, please tell me the truth. I can take it. Am I really 100% polar bear. No grizzly bear, or brown bear or panda bear?"
The father polar bear replies, "Son, I'm 100% polar bear, your mother is 100% polar bear, so you are definitely 100% genuine polar bear."
A few more minutes pass, and the son polar bear again turns to his father and says, "Dad, don't think you're sparing my feelings if it isn't true. I really have to know... am I 100% polar bear?"
The father polar bear is distressed by this continued questioning and asks his son, "Why do you keep asking if you're 100% polar more...

1996 will be remembered for: "The introduction of' doggy bottles' for French diners so they can take the remainder of their Beaujolias home and not risk being over the drink-drive limit. The decision by Stockholm transport authorities to use cheap Spanish wine to power 82 of their buses. The marketing of genuine' Lesbian-produced' wine in Germany, guaranteed to be untouched by male hands. The recall of 30000 bottles of 1993 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild from America because protesters claimed the label - showing a delicate nude by the artist, Balthus - was' an enticement for child abuse'. And the invention in Japan of a woman's bra which features two little compartments for warming sake wine, one in each' cup'." "... Trolling the wine shelves in six countries this year, I have spotted absolutely genuine vintages labelled Chateau de Tremble, Buzbag, El Bollox, Coma, El Baterio, Latrun, Arses Rioja - you had a choice between white Arses, red Arses and rose Arses - and my more...

A genuine penis enlargement product that works.
I have to say I've been using the internet for many years now and have sent off for every one of the penis enlargement 'devices' I've read about on usenet or been spammed with.
My cock is now 7 miles 215 yards 1 foot 2 and three quarter inches long
Does anyone know of a decent site offering penis reduction creams or tablets?

1996 will be remembered for:
"The introduction of 'doggy bottles' for French diners so they can take the remainder of their Beaujolias home and not risk being over the drink-drive limit.
The decision by Stockholm transport authorities to use cheap Spanish wine to power 82 of their buses.
The marketing of genuine 'Lesbian-produced' wine in Germany, guaranteed to be untouched by male hands.
The recall of 30000 bottles of 1993 Chateau Mouton-Rothschild from America because protesters claimed the label - showing a delicate nude by the artist, Balthus - was 'an enticement for child abuse'.
And the invention in Japan of a woman's bra which features two little compartments for warming sake wine, one in each 'cup'."
"...Trolling the wine shelves in six countries this year, I have spotted absolutely genuine vintages labelled Chateau de Tremble, Buzbag, El Bollox, Coma, El Baterio, Latrun, Arses Rioja - you had a choice between white Arses, red Arses and more...

The following is a letter I sent to Miller Brewing Company earlier this month. I still haven't received a response...
Miller Brewing Company
Milwaukee, Wisconsin 53201
Dear Sir or Madam,
I have been a drinker of Miller beer's for many years (actually, ever since that other company donated a big chunk of change to Handgun Control Inc. back in the mid 80's). Initially, my beer of choice was Lite, but some time in mid 1990 while in Honduras I switched to MGD smuggled up from Panama. Now, for nearly six years, I have been a faithful drinker of MGD.
For these past years, I have come to expect certain things from Genuine Draft. I expect that whenever I see that gold can of MGD, I am about ready to enjoy a great, smooth brew.
But wait! Sometime around the first of the year, my beloved MGD changed colors, so to speak. That familiar gold can was no longer gold! Knowing that I am, by nature, somewhat resistant to change, I forced myself to reserve judgment on the new can more...