Goin Jokes / Recent Jokes

An elderly gentlemen had been living with his spinster daughter for some years. One day, upon returning home he heard an unusual whirring noise. Wandering around the first floor, he noticed that the noise seemed to be coming from somewhere upstairs.
He proceeded up the stairs to investigate. Walking around, he realized that the noise increased as he neared his daughters closed bedroom door. Whereupon he quickly open the door to make sure that everything was alright.
He was astonished by the sight of his daughter, stretched out naked on her bed with a vibrator violently shaking in her hand.
"Sylvie! What in tarnation is goin' on?" He shouted!
Sylvie, without hesitation replied: "Daddy, I have needs! Isn't it obvious? I know that I'm not going to find anybody to marry, so please leave me alone, and shut the door on your way out."
Somewhat chagrined, he retreated, and closed the door as he exited.
Not too many days later, his daughter returned more...

There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hotsummer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a bigbundle of wire." Hey kid!" the farmer says. "Where ya goin' with that wire?" "Well," the kid drawls, "this here ain't just any ol' wire, this here'schicken wire -- I'm fixin' to catch me some chickens!""You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!""Sure I can!" the kid says, and takes off down the road. He comes back atthe end of the day and sure enough, he's got a whole mess of chickenscaught in his chicken wire. Well, the farmer's sitting on his porch the next day, and the same kidcomes walking down the lane, carrying a big roll of tape. "Hey kid!" the farmer yells. "Where ya goin' with that tape?" "Well, thishere ain't just any ol' tape, this here's duck tape -- I'm fixin' to catchme some ducks!""You can't catch ducks with duck tape!" the farmer more...

I have been married twice and am now on my 3 girlfriend. i took her 2 my parents and that night we got very tired and i said that we were goin to bed. my mum said that we were not sleeping together as we were not married. so i came up with the suggestion that my mum will sleep down stairs, my girlfriend would sleep in my room and i will have to sleep in with my dad. that night me and my dad got really drunk and he woke me up saying that he was really horny and he said his dick was as hard as steel. he also said that he was goin to bone my mum. I said to him that he had to take me with him and he replied why. i then replied back that he was holding onto my dick.

There was a farmer, sitting on the front porch of his house this one hotsummer day, when this kid comes walking down the road carrying a bigbundle of wire."Hey kid!" the farmer says. "Where ya goin' with that wire?""Well," the kid drawls, "this here ain't just any ol' wire, this here'schicken wire - I'm fixin' to catch me some chickens!""You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!""Sure I can!" the kid says, and takes off down the road. He comes back atthe end of the day and sure enough, he's got a whole mess of chickenscaught in his chicken wire. Well, the farmer's sitting on his porch the next day, and the same kidcomes walking down the lane, carrying a big roll of tape. "Hey kid!" the farmer yells. "Where ya goin' with that tape?" "Well, thishere ain't just any ol' tape, this here's duck tape - I'm fixin' to catchme some ducks!""You can't catch ducks with duck tape!" the farmer yells more...

one day two blondes wanted to go to be d first ones to reach d sun.they were goin to rent a spaceship, when they go to d place d person who was goin to let them rent a spaceship asked where are u goin.the two blondes said they were goin to d sun.and man said u want make it cause it will be to hot.d blondes said do u think we are stupid we are going at night.