Gomer Jokes / Recent Jokes
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the weekstart with the letter' T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder more...
Little Francine watched her father take a shower. She noticed his
testicles and asked him what they were. "Those are my apples," he
replied.
Later the little girl told her mother what Daddy had said. Her
mother smirked, "Did Daddy tell you about the dead limb they're
hanging on?"
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The mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably
long penis. He called in his receptionists to show her. She took one
look and said, "That's just like my Harry's."
"You mean he's got one that long?" the mortician asked.
"No," she replied. "That dead."
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One morning a milkman called on one of his regular customers and
was surprised to see a white bedsheet with a hole in the middle
hanging up in her living room. The more...
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
"Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?"
"11" he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right."
"What two days of the weekstart with the letter 'T'?"
"Today and tomorrow."
He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the more...
The local sheriff was looking for a new deputy, so Gomer - known for not being the sharpest knife in the drawer - applied for the job.
"Okay, Gomer," the sheriff said, "what is 1 and 1?"
"11," Gomer replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That really isn't what I meant, but he is right."
"Gomer, can you tell me which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" asked the sheriff.
"Today and tomorrow," answered Gomer. The sheriff was again surprised that Gomer had given a correct answer that he hadn't thought about himself.
"Now listen carefully, Gomer: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?"
Gomer thought very hard for a few minutes and finally admitted, "I don't know."
"Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for awhile?" the sheriff said.
So, Gomer wandered over to a friend's house where all his pals were anxiously awaiting news of how the interview went. more...
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job." Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the weekstart with the letter' T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself." Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant." It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder more...
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together.
Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt up pretty bad. You better roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope, ain't Bubba."
The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over."
The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba."
The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"
Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."
"What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.
"Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, more...
Gomer went into town for some R & R when he met up with a very attractive
young lady. After talking to Gomer for over an hour, she invited him to her
apartment for dinner. Upon arriving at the apartment, the lady laid down on
the bed and said,"Do you know what I want?" Gomer, looking confused, said
"No." The lady then removed her clothes. "Now do you know what I want?" Gomer
shook his head. The lady then spread her legs slightly. "Now do you know what
I want?" Gomer again shook his head. The lady spread her legs as wide as she
could, her heels touching each side of the bed. "NOW, do you know what I
want?" "Yes, ma'am," Gomer replied, "You're tired, you want to take a nap, and
you want the whole bed to yourself."