Grade Jokes / Recent Jokes

A first grade teacher had a small number of children gathered around a table for a reading group.
Having read the story, she gave the children a work sheet to do.
While they were working she heard a little girl say very softly "damn!"
The teacher leaned over and said quietly, "We don't say that in school."
The little girl looked at the teacher, her eyes got very big and she said, "Really? Not even when things are all f***ed up?"

A first grade teacher in the Midwest is explaining to her class that
she is a Republican and how nice it is that a new Republican president
has taken office. She asks her students to raise their hands if they,
too, are Republicans and support George Bush. Everyone in class raises
their hands except one little girl.
"Mary," says the teacher with surprise, "why didn't you raise your
hand?"
"Because I'm not a Republican," says Mary.
"Well, what are you then?" asks the teacher.
"I'm a Democrat and proud of it," replies the little girl.
The teacher cannot believe her ears. "My goodness, Mary, why are you a
Democrat?" she asks.
"Well, my momma and papa are Democrats, so I'm a Democrat, too."
"Well," says the teacher in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you
to be a Democrat. You don't always have to be like your parents. What
if your momma was more...

A first grade teacher was having a lot of trouble with one of her students. "What is wrong with you, Billy?" she asked.
"I'm way to smart for grade one," Billy answered. "My big sister is in grade three and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in grade three too!"
Having had enough, the teacher took Billy to the principal and explained the situation to him while Billy waited outside the office. The principal told the teacher he would give Billy a test and if he failed any of the questions, then he was to go back to grade one and behave. Billy was brought into the office, the condtions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Billy: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Billy: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal felt a third grader should know. He then looked at the teacher and said, "I feel Billy can go to the third more...

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade, Who has the biggest tits? The blonde, because she's 18.

For those returning to school, here is an inside look at how professors grade their final exams:

Dept Of Statistics:
All grades are fitted to a normal curve.

Dept Of Psychology:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.

Dept Of History:
All students get the same grade they got last year. Dept Of

Theology:
Grade is determined by God.

Dept Of Philosophy:
What is a grade?

Law School:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A when they really deserve an F.

Dept Of Mathematics:
Grades are variable. Dept Of Computer Science:
Random number generator determines grade.

Music Department:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat more...

On the first day of third grade, Miss Torch took roll. "My name is Johnny Fuckhauer," said one boy.

"I won't tolerate such language in my class," Miss Torch fumed. "Tell me your real name."

"That is my real name," Johnny insisted. "You can ask my brother over in the fourth grade."

The determined teacher marched across the hall. "Do you have a Fuckhauer in here?" Miss Torch asked the class.

"Hell no," a bold lad retorted. "We don't even get a cookie break!"

You know you're a redneck because you consider Fifth grade the best six years of your life.