Grave Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a fight, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night.A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most... "When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions:Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt more...

An elderly couple would constantly argue about everything. The woman often ended the arguments by stating vociferously, "I'll dance on your grave...I'll dance on your grave!"

As luck would have it, the man died first.

His last request was that he be buried at sea.

An old man and woman were married for years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most: "When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!"The neightbors believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed it. Then the man died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbors approached in a group to ask if she wasn't worried about this man who practiced black magic and swore he would dig his out of the grave to come back and haunt her for the rest of her life? The wife put down her drink and said, "Let the old guy dig. I had him more...

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetary back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said' Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his
dearly departed mother and started back toward
his car when his attention was diverted to another
man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be
praying with profound intensity and kept repeating,
"Why did you have to die? Why did you have to
die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir,
I don't wish to interfere with your private grief,
but this demonstration of pain is more than I've
ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply?
A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself,
then replied, "My wife's first husband."

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"
The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied...
"My wife's first husband."

A man was taking a walk, and desided to go through the old graveyard as a shortcut. Now, it just so happens Betoveen's grave happened to be in that cemetary, and the man walked past it. He heard the 1st symphany playing backwards, and took notice to the name on the gravestone, but kept walking, though a little puzzled.The next day, he called some friends, and they went back to look at the grave. This time, it was playing the 2ND symphany, still playing backwards! They thought it strange, but went home confused.The next day, the man's friends called their friends, and they all came once again to the grave. This time the 3RD symphany was blaring on, backwards yet again! "Crazy!" The man thought, and invited the whole village to join him the next day.So the next day, the whole town came, and here's the grave, music going on and on, but this time it's the 4TH symphany, you guessed it... BACKWARDS! They all agreed to come back the next day, and dig up what ever, or whoever was more...