Harmonica Jokes / Recent Jokes

For a while I didn't have a car... I had a helicopter... No place to park it, so I just tied it to a lamp post and left it running... [Slow glance upward.]

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I've been arrested three times for practicing.

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles per hour. The harmonica sounds *amazing*.

I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... The tires got dizzy.

My neighbor has a circular driveway... He can't get out.

I used to work in a more...

A newly married sailor was informed by the Navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter. "My love," he wrote, "we are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that, we're constantly surrounded by young attractive native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be tempted?" So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, "why don't you learn to play this?" Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. "Darling" he said, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!" She kissed him and said, "First let's see you play that harmonica."

A newlywed sailor is informed by the navy that he?s going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the South Pacific for 2 years. A few weeks after he gets there he really starts to miss his new wife, so he writes her a letter. "My darling," he writes, "it looks like we?re going to be apart for a very long time. Already I?m starting to miss you and we?re constantly surrounded by young, attractive native girls. The temptation?s terrible. I need some kind of hobby to keep my mind off them." His wife sends him back a harmonica with a note reading, "Why don?t you learn to play this?" Eventually his tour of duty comes to an end and he rushes back to his wife. "Darling" he says, "I can?t wait to get you into bed so that we can make passionate love!" But she stops him with a wave of her hand. "First, let?s see how well you play that harmonica."

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson and music books. Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and through the front door. "Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here. Let me look at you. Let me hold you! Let's have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I've missed your lovin' so much." The wife, keeping her distance, said, "All in good time lover. First, let's hear you play that harmonica."

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free timeand keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozenlesson & music books. Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. "Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here... let me lookat you... let me hold you! Let's have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I've missed your lovin' so much! "The wife, keeping her distance, said, "All in good time lover. First, let's hear you play that harmonica."

A solider stationed in the South Pacific wrote to his wife in the States to please send him a harmonica to occupy his free time and keep his mind off of the local women. The wife complied and sent the best one she could find, along with several dozen lesson & music books.
Rotated back home, he rushed to their home and thru the front door. "Oh darling" he gushed, "Come here... let me look at you... let me hold you! Let's have a fine dinner out, then make love all night. I've missed your lovin' so much! "
The wife, keeping her distance, said, "All in good time lover. First, let's hear you play that harmonica."

A newly married sailor was informed by the navy that
he was going to be stationed a long way from home
on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few
weeks after he got there he began to miss his new
wife, so he wrote her a letter.
"My love," he wrote "we are going to be apart for a
very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and
there's really not much to do here in the evenings.
Besides that we're constantly surrounded by young
attractive native girls. Do you think if I had
a hobby of some kind I would not tempted? "
So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, "why
don't you learn to play this?"
Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he
rushed back to his wife. "Darling" he said, "I
can't wait to make passionate love with you!"
She kissed him and said, "First let's see you
play that harmonica."