Headache Jokes / Recent Jokes

A flight attendant friend of mine and her boyfriend had been playing a little
game, where they would hide condoms in each other's pockets, briefcases,
lunches etc., to have them revealed at unexpected times.
One morning, shortly after taking off on a 3 hour flight, the flight
attendant was asked for aspirin, by a man with a headache. Recalling the
packet of aspirin she usually kept in her left pocket, she took it out,
placed it on the man's fold out table, and turned to pour him a glass of water.
When she turned around again, the man was staring, mouth open, at the
packet before him. He managed to stammer "Sorry Miss, I really DO have a
headache." On discovering her mistake, she turned several shades of red,
and scurried off to hide in the crew cabin.
Eventually, she had to resume her duties, and on each pass down the aisle,
she got a wink and a smile from the man with the headache.

Phil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache."I've got a beaut cure for a headache," said his mate Trev. "Whenever I have a headache I head home and I get my wife to give me a long, slow, wet blowjob. Never fails."A week went by and they were in the bar again, talking. "Did you try my headache cure," asked Trev. "Yeah said Phil, worked great! Your house is nice, too!"

Copied from Houston Chronicle Columnist, Jim Barlow.
Department of Unusual Marketing: Johnson & Johnson has a continuing contract with a number of Web sites devoted to the stock market. When the stock market falls by at least 100 points, banner ads for the company's headache remedies appear on the sites.
News Releases I Never Got Around to Finishing: "The recent U.S. presidential election left a number of people wondering if their vote really counts. But with GetMusic's new music video voting tool, Hot or Not, every vote matters. Launching today on GetMusic.com (www.get-music.com)... "
Job Title of the Month: A Build-A-Bear Workshop is a retail chain that allows customers to design their very own stuffed bear. Maxine Clark is Chief Executive Bear.
And speaking of animals, The You're Probably Not Surprised Award to rapper Snoop Dogg's new venture, a porn video called Doggystyle. While the Dogg performs in the video, he keeps his clothes on.
Our Say What? more...

A couple, concerned with speaking of sex in front of their children, decided to rename "sex" with the words "washing machine."
Each time one of the two decided to entice the other, they would say, "How about some washing machine, dear?"
Well, one night, the husband was feeling quite amorous and asked his wife for a little washing machine, but the wife refused on the grounds of having a headache.
After a while, the wife reconsidered the husband's request thinking of allowing herself to have a headache interrupt their sexual activities. So, the wife awoke her husband and offered to participate in a little washing machine action.
The husband rolled over, facing his wife, and declared, "No, that's ok, dear. It was a small load anyway, so I did it out by hand."

A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says:
Saala pura body headache maar raha hai.

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 AM.

Not wanting to wake his wife, he undressed in the dark, crept into the bedroom and started to climb into bed. She sleepily sat up and said, "Mike, dearest, would you go down to the all-night drug store on the next block and get me some aspirin? I've got a splitting headache."

"Certainly, honey," he said, and feeling his way across the room, he got dressed and walked over to the drug store.

As he arrived, the pharmacist looked up in surprise, "Say," said the druggist, "aren't you Officer Fenwick of the 8th District?"

"Yes, I am," said the officer.

"Well, then, what in the world are you doing in the Fire Chief's uniform?"

> A guy is suffering from severe headaches for years with no relief. After
>trying all the usual cures he's referred to a headache specialist by his
>family doctor. The doctor asks him what his symptoms are and he replies, "I
>get these blinding headaches; kind of like a knife across my scalp and..". He
>is interrupted by the doctor, "And a heavy throbbing right behind the left
>ear".
>
> "Yes! Exactly! How did you know?"
>
> "Well I am the world's greatest headache specialist,
> you know. But I myself suffered from that same type
> of headache for many years. It is caused by a tension
> in the scalp muscles. This is how I cured it: Every
> day I would give my wife oral sex. When she came she
> would squeeze her legs together with all her strength
> and the pressure would relieve the tension in my head.
> Try that every day for two weeks and come back and let
> me more...