Heaven and hell Jokes / Recent Jokes
Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the Doctor' what did you do on Earth?' The Dotor replied, I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free. St. Peter told the Doctor,' you may go in.' St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, I taught educationally challenged children. St. Peter then told her' you may go in.' St. Peter asked the third man,' what did you do?' The man hung his head and replied,' I ran a large HMO.' To which St. Peter replied,' you may go in, but you can only stay 3 days.'
St Peter is standing at heavens gate when a man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?""I was a policeman," he responded."What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked."I was a vice officer. I kept dangerous narcotics out of the hands of kids.""Wonderful my son, welcome to heaven. Pass through the gates."A few moments later a second man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?""I was a policeman," he responded."What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked."I was a traffic officer. I kept the roads and highways safe for travelers.""Well done. Pass through the gates into paradise."A few moments later a third man walks up."Welcome to heaven my son. What did you do with your life?""I was a policeman," he responded."What kind of policeman?" St Peter asked."I was a Military Policeman, Sir.""Excellent my more...
A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed. For example, was the man religious in life? Attend church? No? St. Peter told him thats bad. Was he generous? give money to the poor? Charities? No? St. Peter told him that that too was bad. Did he do any good deeds? Help his neighbor? Anything? No? St. Peter was becoming concerned. Exasperated, Peter says, "Look, everybody does something nice sometime. Work with me, Im trying to help. Now think!" The man says, "There was this old lady. I came out of a store and found her surrounded by a dozen Hells Angels. They had taken her purse and were shoving her around, taunting and abusing her. I got so mad I threw my bags down, fought through the crowd, and got her purse back. I then helped her to her feet. I t hen went up to the biggest, baddest biker and told him how despicable, cowardly and mean he was and then spat more...
Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the Doctor what did you do on Earth? The Dotor replied, I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free. St. Peter told the Doctor, you may go in. St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, I taught educationally challenged children. St. Peter then told her you may go in. St. Peter asked the third man, what did you do? The man hung his head and replied, I ran a large HMO. To which St. Peter replied, you may go in, but you can only stay 3 days.
A doctor, an engineer, and a fungal taxonomist arrived at The Pearly Gates. The doctor said how hed healed the sick, helped the lame; but he was a sinner and was sent to Hell. The engineer told how hed built homes for the homeless, etc.; but he messed up the environment, so he was sent to Hell. The fungal taxonomist was frightened by all this, but as soon as he mentioned his occupation, God said "Youve already been thru Hell, Welcome to Heaven."