Heidi Jokes

Heidi Klum and Seal's son, Johan Riley Fyodor Taiwo, was born on Wednesday, 300 years later than his name.

(Hi guys, I received these jokes from a friend. May be a little outdated but still enjoyable.)
1) When Paula Barbieri signed up for MCI friends and family, what was the first number she gave?
- "911"
2) What was the best selling Halloween Costume the previuos year?
- An O. J. Simpson costume.
Why are stores refusing to carry it?
- They are always returned because the gloves don't fit.
3) Who's the dumbest person in America?
- OJ's next girlfriend!
4) The Florida Orange Growers Association has offered to pay all of OJ's legal bills on one
condition.
- He has to change his name to snapple.
5) Why did OJ's kids want to live with their dad?
- They knew they could get away with murder.
6) Where was Kato Kalin between 9 and 12?
- In the fourth grade.
7) What did Johnny Cochran say when accused of beating his wife?
- At least I didn't kill her like some people I know.
8) It seems that Bob more...

I'm surprised that nobody has posted any jokes regarding this scandal yet.
For anybody overseas, or living in a cave, this woman Heidi ran a brothel that catered to Hollywood's biggest stars, movie executives, and (allegedly) professional sports players.
She got caught, and the whole affair has Hollywood buzzing. There are rumors that the judge is going to subpoena her black book, which contains all of her customers. The press has nicknamed her the "Madam of the stars."
Because of her sudden fame, she is selling interviews, pictures, etc. (She is a prostitute after all...) I heard these prices on the radio this morning.
The movie rights to her life story, including the scandal, will be sold for $1 million dollars. (This is a very high price for movie rights, but many of the top movie executives will willingly pay more for the story, to make sure that they are NOT portrayed in the movie!)
A picture of the COVER of her black book, listing her clients, sells more...

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Heidi!
Heidi who?
Heidi hi campers! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Heidi!
Heidi who?
Heidi-clare war on you!

Should kids witness a birth? A true story:

It was late at night and Heidi, who was expecting her second child was home alone with her 3-year old daughter Katelyn. When Heidi started going into labor, she called "911."

Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.

Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.

The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again!"