Highway Jokes / Recent Jokes

Three blondes were driving down the highway trying to get to Disneyland. They saw a sign that read 'DisneyLand Left.' So they went home.

One afternoon, Tommy is driving down a highway to spend some time at a lake and relax. On his way to the lake, he spots a guy dressed from head to toe in red standing on the side of the highway, gesturing for him to stop.
He rolls down his window and asks, "How can I help you?"
"I'm the red jerk of the highway. You got something to eat?" the guy in red says.
Smiling, Tommy hands the guy a sandwich and drives away. A few short minutes later, he comes across another guy. This guy is dressed completely in yellow, and he's standing on the side, motioning for him to stop.
Slightly annoyed, he stops, rolls down the window, and says, "What can I do for you?"
"I'm the yellow jerk of the highway. You got something to drink?" the guy in yellow asks.
Barely managing a smile, Tommy hands the guy a can of soda and takes off again. Wanting to reach the lake before sunset, he decides to go faster and not stop, no matter what.
Much more...

Two rednecks are driving down the highway, drinking their beer, when flashing lights from a policeman appear in the driver's rear-view mirror.' 'Don't worry!'' says the driver to his friend,' 'Just do exactly what I tell you and everything will work out perfectly. First, we'll peel the labels off our beer bottles and we'll each stick one on our forehead. Now shove all of the bottles under the front seat! And, let me do all the talking!'' They pull over to the side of the road and the cop walks up to the car. He shines his flashlight into the car and looks at the two drunks.' 'Have you been drinking?'' he asks them.' 'Oh no Sir,'' replies the driver.' 'I noticed you weaving back and forth across the highway. Are you sure you haven't been drinking?'' the cop asks.' 'Oh, no sir,'' the drunk answers.' 'We haven't had a thing to drink tonight.''' 'Well, I've got to ask you,'' says the cop,' 'What on earth are those things on your forehead?''' 'That's easy, Officer,'' says the drunk.' 'You more...

A moment or two after a highway accident, an old Jewish man came up to a woman lying by the roadside.
"Have the police come yet?" the man asked.
"No," the woman moaned.
"Has the ambulance been here yet?"
"No," the injured woman repeated.
"How about the insurance company?"
"No."
"Listen," the Jewish man said, bending down. "Do you mind if I lay down next to you?"

A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver in it….
Cop: “Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so slowly? ”
Blonde: “Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65. ”
Cop: “Oh miss, that’s not the speed limit, that’s the name of the highway you’re on! ”
Blonde: “Oh! Stupid me! Thanks for letting me know, Ill be more careful from now on. ”
At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car, where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.
Cop: “Excuse me miss, what’s wrong with your friends back there? They’re shaking something awful. ”
Blonde: “Oh… We just got off of highway 149…”

A police officer pulled over a nun driving a car, and said,' Ma'am, you're driving much too slowly, could you please drive faster?"
And the nun says,' Oh, I saw the sign with the "21" and assumed the speed limit was 21 kph"
The officer explains:' No ma'am, the speed limit is 80. The highway number is Interstate 21."
Then the police officer looks in the back seat and see the other two nuns shaking like leaves.
"Excuse me, Sister, but what's wrong with your two colleagues?"
"Oh, that's probably because we just got off Highway 205."

A farmer and his daughter were coming back from town with their money from some sales and a large sack of flour when all of a sudden these highway men held them up and robbed them of everything.
A few minutes later the farmer exclaims, "We're ruined, all the money's gone and there's no flour for bread."
Then his daughter says, "No, papa, I hid the money in my U-know-what."
The farmer said, "You're a good girl, but if your mama was here she could have saved the sack of flour as well!"