Highway Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two Antartians were speeding down the highway at well over 90 mph.
"Hey," asked Bob, who was at the wheel, "any cops following us?"
Henry, his passenger, turned around and had a long look at the road behind them.
"Yeah, looks like it," he responded.
"Are his flashers on?" asked Bob.
Henry turned around again...
"Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe."Didn't you say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,"' asked the lawyer. Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...""I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question."Did you not say at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'."Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I as driving down the road..."The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to more...
THE IMPORTANT THINGS LIFE TEACHES US
1. Most Important Question.
During a students second month in a nursing school, the professor gave them a pop quiz. The students were a conscientious group and had breezed through the questions, until they read the last one:
What is the name of the women who cleans the school?
Surely this was some kind of joke they thought. They had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark hared and in her 50s, but how would they know her name?
They handed in their papers leaving the last question blank. Before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count towards the quiz grade. "Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say hello." They never forgot that lesson. They also learnt that the cleaning woman's name was Dorothy.
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2. more...
A police officer pulled over a nun driving a car, and said,' Ma'am, you're driving too slow, could you please drive faster?"
And the nun says,' Oh, I saw the sign with the "21" and assumed the speed limit was 21."
The officer explains:' No ma'am, the speed limit is 65, the highway is 21."
Then the police officer looks in the back and see the other 2 nuns shaking like leaves.
"Excuse me, Sister, but what's wrong with those 2?"
"Oh, that's because we just got off Highway 145."
Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company, responsible for the accident, to court.
In court, the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning Farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, 'I'm fine', at the scene of the accident?" asked the lawyer.
Farmer Joe responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the... "
"I didn't ask for a long, drawn-out story," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'!"
Farmer Joe said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road... "
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now, several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I more...
A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway. The brunette keeps saying, "88, 88, 88..."The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past."What are you doing?""I'm counting cars,"comes the rely. "Want to help?""Sure!" says the blond. She walks out to the middle of thehighway to the brunette and starts saying "88, 88, 88.."All the time the cars are dodging the two woman. Then a big semidrives by and runs over the blond. The brunnette calmly walksdown the highway, picks a new spot, and starts muttering, "89, 89, 89..."Sent by Kellie
Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'?" said the lawyer.Farmer Joe responded, "Well I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the...." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted, "just answer the question.""Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine'!"Farmer Joe said, "Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue more...