Hire Jokes / Recent Jokes
A man was looking to hire a driver for a bus tour business. Three men applied for the job. He calls one into his office to interview him. The man says that he can put the wheels right on the edge of a bridge, drive, and not fall off. The employer is very impressed. He calls another man in. This man says that he can put the wheels halfway off of a bridge, drive, and not fall off. The employer is again very impressed. He calls the last man in. He says, "I heard what the other two guys said, and I don't think I could match them. I usually drive in the middle of a bridge".
An Irishman applied for a job on a construction site, but the foreman wouldn't hire him until he passed a simple maths test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."
"Without numbers?" The Irishman says, "Dat is easy," and proceeded to draw three trees.
"What's this?" the boss asked.
"Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree make nine," said the Irishman.
"Fair enough," said the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."
The Irishman stared into space for a while, then picked up the picture that he has just drawn and made a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go."
The boss scratched his head and said, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?"
"Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat more...
A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm.
The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled.
"Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry... We can't hire you."
"But wait," he says. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!"
"Really? Great! Show me!"
The applicant reaches into his pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms. Finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.
"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but more...
A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You've graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we'd hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we're afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I'm sorry....we can't hire you."
"But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I'll stop winking!"
"Really? Great! Show me!"
So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.
"Well," said the interviewer, "that's all well and good, but more...
The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark." And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark.
"OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man."
"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!"
Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents. The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark.
"Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.
"Lord, please more...