Hole Jokes / Recent Jokes

This guy's wife was always wanting to go golfing with him and he
said he didn't think she would enjoy it. She kept pressuring
him and finally he gave in.
So they're on the golf course and on the first hole the guy hits
one 300 yards down the middle of the fairway, hits his second
shot three feet from the pin, and putts for a birdie. This
lucky streak continues and he birdies 5 straight holes.
Then they get to the 6th hole. He takes his driver and hooks
one way out into the left rough behind a barn. They search and
search and find the ball, and he says to his wife, "I'll just
take a penalty and drop the ball out in the fairway."
His wife says, "Wait a minute!" She walks over to the barn and
opens the door on one end and then goes to the other end and
opens that door too. She says, "Look, honey, you can see the
hole from here! The way you've been playing, just hit through
the barn and you'll do more...

When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
Because down deep, they are all nice guys.

Joe and his three golf buddies were out playing and were just starting on the back nine when Joe paused, looked down the fairway and began to sob uncontrollably. The other three gathered around him and asked, "Whats wrong?"
Joe looked down at his feet, sniffed and dried his eyes some, then apologized for his emotional outburst. "I'm sorry, I always get emotional at this hole - it holds very difficult memories for me."
One of his buddies asked, "What happened? What could have gotten you so upset?"
Joe stared silently off in the distance, then said in a low voice, "This is where my wife and I were playing 12 years ago when she suddenly died of a heart attack; right at this very hole."
"Oh my God," the other golfers said, "That must have been horrible!"
"Horrible? You think it's horrible?" Joe cried in disbelief. "It was worse than that! Every hole for the rest of the day, all the way back to more...

The club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two' gotchas'."
The golf pro didn't know what a' gotcha' was, but he went along with it. And off they went. Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed to see the golf pro paying the duffer $100.
"What happened?" asked one of the members.
"Well," said the pro, "I was teeing up for the first hole, and as I brought the club down, that jerk stuck his hand between my legs and grabbed my balls, then yelled' Gotcha!' Have you ever tried to play 18 holes of golf waiting for the second' gotcha'?"

God and Moses were out golfing. They were both doing well. Then they came up to the 5th hole.
It was a dogleg to the left, with a lake to the right. Moses got up and hit a long shot with a little hook. Right in the middle of the fairway. Then God got up and pulled out his driver.
Then Moses said,"God, everytime you use you driver you always slice it."
So God said, "If Arnold Palmer can do it, I can do it." So he approched the ball. Got ready, then hit a long one. It drifted to the right, SPLISH! Right in the middle of the lake.
So Moses said, "See God, I told you that would happen. I'll get it this time but you'll have to get it next time." So Moses went out to the lake, held up his club, and parted the lake. Then he went down, picked up the ball, and came back. After that, everything was going fine.
Until the 18th hole, straight away, with a long lake on the right. Moses hit a nice straight shot down the fairway. Then God took out his more...

A girl was eating lunch in the cafeteria and she was laughing and talking to all friends. But as you know, it is very distracting to talk while you're eating.
So she goes to put a french fry into her mouth and before anyone notices, she looks down because, you guessed it, she missed her mouth. Turns out everyone at the table had seen her do it. As the table bursts out laughing, someone says, "I do that all the time. I go to take a drink of water and I miss." Someone else said, "You have a hole in your lip." From the other end of the table someone yells "Who has a whore on their cheek?"

God and Moses were out golfing. They were both doing well. Then they came up to the 5th hole. It was a dogleg to the left, with a lake to the right. Moses got up and hit a long shot with a little hook. Right in the middle of the fairway. Then God got up and pulled out his driver. Then Moses said,"God, everytime you use you driver you always slice it." So God said, "If Arnold Palmer can do it, I can do it." So he approched the ball. Got ready, then hit a long one. It drifted to the right, SPLISH! Right in the middle of the lake. So Moses said, "See God, I told you that would happen. I'll get it this time but you'll have to get it next time." So Moses went out to the lake, held up his club, and parted the lake. Then he went down, picked up the ball, and came back. After that, everything was going fine. Until the 18th hole, straight away, with a long lake on the right. Moses hit a nice straight shot down the fairway. Then God took out his driver. Moses said, more...