Hops Jokes / Recent Jokes

A string walks into a bar, hops on the bar stool, and says, "Bartender, gimme a beer." The bartender says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve strings here." Disappointed, the string hops down from the stool and goes to the next bar. He hops on the bar stool and says, again, "Bartender, gimme a beer." The bartender says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve strings here." The string continues down the row of bars in this fashion. At every bar, he hops on the barstool and says, "Bartender, gimme a beer." Each time, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve strings here." Finally he gets to the last bar in the area. He's tired, he's sweaty, all he wants is a beer. He trudges inside, climbs on the barstool, and says, "Bartender, gimme a beer." The bartender says, "I'm sorry, sir, we don't serve strings here." Pissed off, the string walks outside to think. He's a hard-working string. He deserves a beer. Finally, he comes up with an more...

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car. The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit.
Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead.
The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.
A beautiful blonde woman driving down the highway sees a man crying on the side of the road and pulls over.
She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong? "I feel terrible, "he explains, "I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."
The blonde says, "Don't worry." She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can.
She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down and sprays the contents onto the rabbit.
The rabbit jumps up, waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.
Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns more...

A frog walks into a bank and says "I wanna loan."
"Well Mr.. frog, go over there to Mrs. Black's desk, she is the loan manager, I'm sure she will be happy to talk to you," The head desk says.
The frog hops over to Mrs. Patty Black's desk and says, "I wanna loan."
Mrs. Black says, "Well Mr. Frog, we will have to get some paperwork for you to sign, so if you will wait right here..." At this point the frog pulls out of his knapsack a golden disk and hands it over to her.
She asks, confused, "What is this?"
The frog croaks back, "I wanna loan." She rubs her head, and walks back to her boss and says, "I don't get it, a frog hops in here wanting a loan, and gives me this golden disk. Do you know what it is?"
The boss laughs and says, "It's a knick-knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan!"

A frog walks into a bank and says "I wanna loan." "Well Mr.. frog, go over there to Mrs. Black's desk, she is the loan manager, I'm sure she will be happy to talk to you," The head desk says. The frog hops over to Mrs. Patty Black's desk and says, "I wanna loan." Mrs. Black says, "Well Mr. Frog, we will have to get some paperwork for you to sign, so if you will wait right here..." At this point the frog pulls out of his knapsack a golden disk and hands it over to her. She asks, confused, "What is this?" The frog croaks back, "I wanna loan." She rubs her head, and walks back to her boss and says, "I don't get it, a frog hops in here wanting a loan, and gives me this golden disk. Do you know what it is?" The boss laughs and says, "It's a knick-knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan!"

ather O'Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late.

He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas. As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, "Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead Elvis! How have you been?"

Father looks at her and says, "Get outta me face. Can't you see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing like Elvis." The father moves on to his cab waiting outside. He hops in his cab and he's a little upset so he tells the cabby, "Take me to my hotel and step on it."

The cabby turns and says, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your number one fan! It's so great to see more...

A frog walks into a bank and says “I wanna loan. ”
“Well Mr.. frog, go over there to Mrs. Black’s desk, she is the loan manager, I’m sure she will be happy to talk to you, ” The head desk says.
The frog hops over to Mrs. Patty Black’s desk and says, “I wanna loan. ”
Mrs. Black says, “Well Mr. Frog, we will have to get some paperwork for you to sign, so if you will wait right here…” At this point the frog pulls out of his knapsack a golden disk and hands it over to her.
She asks, confused, “What is this? ”
The frog croaks back, “I wanna loan. ” She rubs her head, and walks back to her boss and says, “I don’t get it, a frog hops in here wanting a loan, and gives me this golden disk. Do you know what it is? ”
The boss laughs and says, “It’s a knick-knack Patty Black, give the frog a loan! ”

At the edge of the forest there was a somewhat mediocre wizard. He is there to help the animals of the forest with some of their daily problems. One day a toad hops in. The toad says "Oh wizard, please help me. I was born with a yellow penis." "I've told you animals, I can't help you with any big problems," responds the wizard. "You'll have to go see the Wizard of Oz." So the toad hops off on his merry little way. But in not too long an elephant enters the wizards pad." Oh wizard," the elephant begins, "please help me. I was born without a trunk." Now the wizard is infuriated. "Don't you stupid animals ever listen!!! Take your damn big problems to the wizard of Oz!"The elephant responds "But, wizard how do I get to the Wizard of Oz?" "Oh that's easy," says the wizard. "Just follow the yellow dicked toad!"