Hunting Jokes / Recent Jokes

NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWERS Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 1200
1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a more...

NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWERS Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 12001. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, "entrap", or more...

NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE HUNTING OF LAWYERS Government Department of Fish and "WildLife" Sec. 1200
1. Any person with a valid hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "free Perrier" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW dealerships.
7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
8. If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a more...

Two Blondes were out hunting. They decided to separate to get a better chance of catching something.
The first blonde says to the other, "If you get lost, fire three shots into the air every hour. That way I can pinpoint you and find you."
After about three hours, the second blonde finds he is really lost. He decides to fire three shots into the air as the first man told him. He then waits for an hour and does it again. He repeats this until he is out of ammo.
The next morning, the first blonde finds the second with the help of forest rangers. He asks the second blonde if he did what he told him to do.
The blonde answers, "Yes, I fired three shots into the air every hour on the hour until I ran out of arrows."

Dick and Bob were on a hunting trip. At nightfall, Dick complained, Weve been hunting all day. Weve shot at five deer - and not hit one! OK. Lets miss two more and then head back to camp, said Bob.

Any person with a valid Washington State hunting license may harvest attorneys.
Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted.
Killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove dead attorney to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snow machine, helicopter, or aircraft.
It shall be unlawful to shout "whiplash", "ambulance", or "open bar" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of Cadillac dealerships.
It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, currency, or staged vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of courtrooms, law libraries, whorehouses, health spas, ambulances, or hospitals.
If an attorney is elected to government office, it shall be a felony to hunt, trap, or possess it.
Harvested attorneys must more...

Little John: I used to be a big-game hunber. Why, for years I shot elephants in Alaska.

Big Alfred: That's impossible! There aren't any elephants in Alaska.

Little John: Of course not. I shot them all.