Imagine Jokes / Recent Jokes

Imagine if major companies from all around the world started producing or sponsoring condoms. They would become fashionable and companies would probably advertise more openly. Imagine the trademarks: Nike Condoms: - Just do It Toyota Condoms: - Oh what a feeling Ford Condoms: - The ride of your life Sony Condoms: - Do not underestimate the power of SonyMicrosoft Condoms: - Where do you want to go today? KFC Condoms: - Finger Licking Good M&Ms Condoms: - Melt in your mouth, not in your hands Coca-Cola Condom: - The Real ThingEver-Ready Condoms: - Keep going and goingMacintosh Condoms: - It does more, it costs less, it's that simple Pringles Condoms: - Once you pop, you can't stop

Let no man imagine that he has no influence. Henry George

Imagine if major companies from all around the world started producing or sponsoring condoms. They would become fashionable and companies would probably advertise more openly.
Imagine the trademarks:
Nike Condoms: - Just do It
Toyota Condoms: - Oh what a feeling
Ford Condoms: - The ride of your life
Sony Condoms: - Do not underestimate the power of Sony
Microsoft Condoms: - Where do you want to go today?
KFC Condoms: - Finger Licking Good
M&Ms Condoms: - Melt in your mouth, not in your hands
Coca-Cola Condom: - The Real Thing
Ever-Ready Condoms: - Keep going and going
Macintosh Condoms: - It does more, it costs less, it's that simple
Pringles Condoms: - Once you pop, you can't stop

Imagine if major companies from all around the world started producing or sponsoring condoms. They would become fashionable and companies would probably advertise more openly.Imagine the trademarks:Nike Condoms: - Just do It Toyota Condoms: - Oh what a feeling Ford Condoms: - The ride of your life Sony Condoms: - Do not underestimate the power of SonyMicrosoft Condoms: - Where do you want to go today? KFC Condoms: - Finger Licking Good M&Ms Condoms: - Melt in your mouth, not in your hands Coca-Cola Condom: - The Real ThingEver-Ready Condoms: - Keep going and goingMacintosh Condoms: - It does more, it costs less, it's that simple Pringles Condoms: - Once you pop, you can't stop

MEAT -- Terry Bisson

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Imagine if you will... the leader of the fifth invader force speaking to the commander in chief...

' They're made out of meat!'

'Meat?'

'Meat. They're made out of meat.'

'Meat?'

'There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat.'

'That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars.'

'They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines.'

'So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact.'

'They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines.'

'That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient more...

A man enters a pet shop and tells the owner he'd like to buy a pet that can do everything. The owner suggests a dog.
"A dog?" the man replies.
"How about a cat?" the owner says.
"No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!" the man replies.
The owner thinks for a moment, then says, "I've got it! A centipede!"
"A centipede?" the man says. "I can't imagine a centipede being able to do everything, but yeah... I'll try a centipede." He pays for the centipede and takes it home.
When they arrive home, he looks at the centipede and says, "Clean the kitchen."
Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and to his astonishment... it's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away; the counter-tops cleaned; the appliances sparkling; the floor waxed.
He then says to the centipede, "Go clean the living more...

Two friends were at the bar, when one told the other, "My cousin got married three times."
"Wow!" said his friend. "Imagine having three cars, three husbands, three apartments and three honeymoons!"
"It's not as good as you think," said the first. "Imagine having three mothers-in-law!"