Incompetence Jokes / Recent Jokes
It has come to my attention recently that many people have been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (code 5300). To our department, unproductive time isn't a problem.
What is a problem is not knowing exactly what people are doing during their unproductive time.
I've attached a sheet specifying a tentative extended job list based on my observations of employee activities. The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please distribute this as necessary, and let me know about any difficulties.
For your timesheets:
Job numberExplanation
5300Meeting
5300-100
Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5300-200
Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5310
Breaks5310-100
Waiting for Break
5310-110
Buying Snack
5310-120
Eating Snack
5310-200
Waiting for Lunch
5310-210
Ordering more...
In every work of genius we recognize our rejected thoughts.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don’t need it.
In spite of all evidence to the contrary, the entire universe is composed of only two basic substances: magic and lies.
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
Incompetence is a double-edged banana.
Influence is like a savings account. The less you use it, the more you’ve got. - Andrew Young, American politician
Inspiration and perspiration are related by more than rhyme.
Intelligence is a tool to be used towards a goal, and goals are not always chosen intelligently. - Larry Niven ‘Protector’
Interchangable parts won’t.
Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place.
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
To All Employees: It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in timecards that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). Note that unproductive time isn't a problem.
What is a problem, however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time. Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.
The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter. Thank you, Accounting. Attached: Extended Job Code List
Code Number Explanation ---------- -----------
5316 Useless Meeting
5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting
5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
5319 Waiting for Break
5320 Waiting for more...