Indeed Jokes / Recent Jokes

An old, bearded shepherd, with a crooked staff, walks up to a stone pulpit and says …
And lo it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why doth thou travel far, from town to town, with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent? ” And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How, Dear? ”
And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS). ”
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums, as long as he could have more...

The year is 1996. By this time, the American Government's policy of
Social Welfare has been extended to require that any married couple who
has not had a child within the first five years of marriage, must
receive the services of a government man who will attempt to be the means
of the wife becoming a mother.
There are no children in the family of this particular story: much to the
sorrow of the husband, and it is the morning of their fifth wedding
anniversary.
Husband - Well, goodbye, dear, I'm off to the office. I suppose the
government man will be here shortly, computer-printed address and all.
He leaves with his head bowed. The wife pretties herself and powders her
nose just as the doorbell rings. She is expecting the government man, but
instead her caller is a baby photographer who has come to see if he could
interest her in some baby pictures. The following conversation ensues:
Lady: Oh, Good Morning.
Man: How do you more...

Man comes in, in a panic. He had typed a document the day before, and now it was all gone. "Have you saved it properly?" was of course my first question. Yes, he said, it was saved properly. But all the text had mysteriously disappeared. On his disk, I found a completely empty document. Indeed it was saved, apparently, and indeed it did not contain text. Of course, he had saved the document right BEFORE he started typing. When it was finished, he took out his disk and shut down the computer. And now all that text was gone, even though he had SAVED! To top it all off, he got mad at ME when I told him the only thing he could do was retype the whole thing. Was I nuts or something?

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.
Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com.
She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far from town to town with thy goods when thou can trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, Dear?"
And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale and they will reply telling you which hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the more...

It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new
Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian
Chief in a modern society, he had never actually been taught any of the
old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he had no clue as to what
the weather was going to be.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the
winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village
should collect wood to be prepared. But also being a practical leader,
after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called
the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to
be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,"
the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went
back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to
be prepared.
A week later he called the more...

Two couples were playing cards one evening. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up,
he noticed that Bill's wife Sue, legs spread wide, wasn't wearing any underwear!
Shocked by this, John, upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?"
Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted that, well, indeed he did. She said, "Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500."
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial as well as the moral costs of this offer, John indicates that he is indeed interested. She tells him that since her husband, Bill, works Friday afternoons and John doesn't, that John should be at her house around 2:00 Friday afternoon. When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's more...

I'm not so sure evolution is indeed a valid theory. I mean, thinkabout it -- if it were, wouldn't all blondes have grown handlesby now?