Indeed Jokes / Recent Jokes

This was on the tonight show with Jay Leno............... Jay went into his audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. When the winner described her worst first date experience, there was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize.

Marilyn said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold. The guy had taken her skiing to Lake Arrowhead. It was a day trip (no overnight). The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere. Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going. there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her pee beside the road, or she would go on the front more...

One night, the Potato family - Mother Potato and her three daughters - sat down to dinner. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have an announcement to make."
"And what might that be?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes.
"Well," replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, "I'm getting married!"
The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, eldest daughter?"
"I'm marrying a Russet!"
"A Russet!" replied Mother Potato with pride. "Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"
As the family shared in the eldest daughter's joy, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother, I too, have anannouncement."
"And what might that be?" asked Mother Potato.
Not knowing quite how to begin, more...

One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner-Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have an announcement to make." "And what might that be?" said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes. "Well," replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, "I'm getting married!" The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?" "I'm marrying a Russet!" "A Russet!" replied Mother Potato with pride. "Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"As the family shared in the eldest daughter's joy, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother? I, too, have an announcement." "And what might that be?" encouraged Mother Potato. Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, more...

Ahmed was showing a foreign vistor around his country and bemoaning the lack of gratitude his countrymen showed him for his considerable achievements.
"Look here" says Ahmed to the foreigner "at this vast and modern ship building yard", and the yards were indeed vast and modern.
"I built this myself. I own it. But do they call me 'Ahmed the ship builder'? No! They don't!"
"And look here" says Ahmed to the foreigner "at the modern and efficient road system we travelled on today", and the road system was indeed modern and efficient.
"I own the company that built these roads. But do they call me 'Ahmed the road builder'? No! They don't!"
"And look over there" says Ahmed to the foreigner "at that towering city on the horizon", and the city was indeed towering.
"I own two thirds of those buildings. I built that city. But do they call me 'Ahmed the city builder'? No! They don't call more...