Interview Jokes / Recent Jokes

* While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match.
* Repeat everything your interviewer says, keep going until he or she yells at you. Then ask if you got the job.
* Stick a piece of broccoli between your front teeth, smile a lot.
* Sometime during the interview, frown and sniff suspiciously, ask the boss if he or she farted.
* Pick your nose and wipe contents underneath the lip of your interviewers desk.
* Bring in whoopie cushion, set it off, roll your eyes and look at your interviewer with disgust.
* In the beginning of the interview pull out a gun and put it on the interviewer’s desk in front of you, then say, "Mind if I rest this here during the interview?"
* Demand that if hired you want desk plate that reads, "Big Kahuna."
* As you follow your interviewer to his or her office kick out their heels so that they trip and fall on their face, laugh uncontrollably.
* Show up in your jogging outfit, run in more...

This has got to be the all-time classic comeback. Note: This is an exact replication of National Public Radio(NPR)interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
Interviewer: ” So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? ”
General reinwald: ‘We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting. ”
Interviewer: “Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it? ”
General reinwald: “I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range. ”
Interviewer: “Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? ”
General reinwald: “I don’t see how, …. we will be teaching them proper rifle range discipline before they even touch a firearm. ”
Interviewer: ” But you’re equipping them to become violent killers. more...

Java Interview attended by our Banta:
Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture?
A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres.
Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it through courier.
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As you wish, I do not have any objections.
Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other?
A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate.
Q. Explain RMI Architecture?
A. I am a computer professional not an architect student.
Q. What is the use of Servlets?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads?
A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
Q. What is JAR file?
A. File that can be kept inside a jar.
Q. What is JINI?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend.
Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java more...

' 'We're going to give the press a ten minute head start, then that's what we're going to hunt.'' -- Ventura, in a pre-hunting interview with television reporters

' 'Being able to put two rounds into the same hole from 25 meters! That's gun control.'' -- Ventura, during a pre-election radio interview on the crime issue

' 'Did I die?'' -- Governor-elect Jesse Ventura, on the number of roses that were sent to him after his Nov. 3 victory.

' 'Anyway, I've done way more stupid things on alcohol than I have on pot.'' -- Jesse Ventura, in a pre-election discussion on the decriminalization of marijuana

' 'The people in Washington could not be more surprised if Fidel Castro came loping across the Midwestern prairie on the back of a Hippopotamus.'' -- Dan Rather, in a flustered election night report of the Ventura upset.

Santa was one of the four persons who were in the final stages of interviewing for a prestigious job. The Company decided to fly them all in for dinner and a final interview.
Over dinner at a fine restaurant, the president of the company told them that all were very worthy applicants, and that he wished he could hire them all, but that they only had enough money budgeted to hire one person. He told them that he would call each of them in one at a time for a final interview the next day, and that he would ask each one of them the same question. Whoever answered the question the best would be the one hired. All applicants agreed that this was fair.
The next day the first applicant was called in.
The president posed the question, "What is the fastest thing in the world?"
He thought for a moment and replied, "That would have to be a thought."
"Why do you say that?" asked the president.
"Well, a thought takes no time at all...it is more...

These 3 guys were waiting for a job interview. The first guy gets called in. The interviewer tells him that a big part of this job is being observant. The interviewer tells him to look around the room, look at him and tell him one thing he observes. Coincidentally, the interviewer has no ears.
Instantly, the guy replies, "That's simple you got no ears!" This angers the interviewer and he throws the guy out.
The second guy gets called in and the exact same thing happens. The interviewer tells him to look around and tells him what he observes. Again the guy replies, "That's simple, you have no ears!" This angers the interviewer again and he throws the guy out.
When he returns to the waiting room, he tells the third guy not to mention anything about the interviewer's ears or he will have no chance of getting the job. The third guy thanks him and goes in for the interview.
When he is told to look around the room, he observes that the interviewer is more...

Note: This is an extract of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

INTERVIEWER: " So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."

INTERVIEWER: "Shooting! that's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."

INTERVIEWER: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
GENERAL REINWALD: "I don't see how,. ... we will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."

INTERVIEWER: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
GENERAL more...